Sunday, November 12, 2006

I'm sorry if...

I know I've offended some of you with my last post and for that I'm truly sorry. My husband calls me a "shit-disturber" and I guess I am. Amazing how, as a younger person, I was afraid to say anything - hardly said anything at school.

I want you to know I respect all of your feelings and know you have good reasons for having them.

Please understand that I did not become a Christian to be what a Christian is. I did simply because I needed to have God in my life. I could no longer do life on my own - and I still can't.

Am rather down today. My mom has come to stay with us for a while. She's having trouble with her arthritis and can hardly walk. She's not the easiest person to be around. My privacy and ability to do what I want to do are like zilch.

So, today my dear friends, I feel bad about a lot of things.

Hope all of you are ok.


Sarah said...

Marja this has been your life, you just go out there and lay it on the table. No fear, you say what you have to say.

I'm here to listen, I think we can all learn from you, the whole church thing will ALWAYS raise controversial opinions and sometimes we just have to listen and be quiet.

I was never offended by any of your posts, I think you're a great inspiration.

Love you dearly and I hope your mother won't give you too hard of a time

Anonymous said...

Dear Marja, I'm sorry you're having a rough day & hope tomorrow brings more joy.
I'm afraid that perhaps you think you offended me by your last post? If that's what you're thinking; don't. Your writing is helping me a lot. I believe it's no mistake that our paths have crossed & do believe in divine intervention.
Because of the things you've been writing about, I'm considering calling a church...I don't know which one..and just asking the pastor there if I can write a letter to just "get out" my anger/hurt/doubts, etc. about religion in general.
If any of my comments have indicated that I was angry or offended, then it's I who should be apologizing to you. When I wrote that I'm glad I've met loving Christians, you were 1 of the few I was thinking of.
Anyways, I hope things go smoothly with your mom there. It can be difficult when our space is cramped. I'll keep you in my thoughts today.

marja said...

Thank you so much for your comments, sarah and jane.

Sarah: I don't KNOW whether I've offended anyone, just felt I MIGHT have and don't like doing that.

Jane: I was so happy to get your message. So happy that what I've said was meaningful to you. Also happy that you're thinking of approaching a pastor.
Can I give you a bit of advice? Chances are that whoever you approach will not know very much about bipolar. You'll have to briefly fill him in on what it means to have it and how medication keeps you well. Here's your opportunity to educate. (I so love that you're doing this)
And if you don't find a compassionate ear the first time, you may have to "shop" around until you do. That's how I found the church I now attend.
And, I bet, my pastor would give you a sympathetic ear as well, if you were to email him. Though, of course, it would be better if you found someone close to you.

jumpinginpuddles said...

hang in there and try to not let the little things niggle

shebee said...

You are truly an amazing, inspiring woman of God, Marja. I am humbled by how you walk with the Lord in such a 'real' way. There is nothing 'showy' about you. You are you, and that's the way it is supposed to be. I know I've only met you, but I really look up to you. You are an incredible person. Thnakyou God for marja. (I think I say that with a lot of people backing me up!)

Sarah said...

you're on tegretol?? ohhh can you tell me more about it? i was on crazymeds but they said it's not the BEST med for bipolar and all which i don't care im just starting the medication treatment so i'm guessing everything will be low and "not too strong" - like xanax which got quickly replaced to klonopin.

anyway, whats your medcocktail? what can you tell me about tegretol? am i bugging you too much lol

Anonymous said...

I like to think that this is part of the blogging experience....
to be able to write with freedom. Others choose to read and take with them what they choose. Authors write knowing not all will share their views, ideas, opinions. Just like the original idea of freedom of the press.

I enjoy your posts, thank you for visiting my blog.

Anonymous said...

Hi Marja,

I am sorry that I have been absent for a few days (someone tried to break into my house last week!--I am alright, but it got busy).

I wanted to tell you that YOU INSPIRE ME SO MUCH! And I grew up in the church. I have been a very committed Christian since I was 9 years old, then stepped back for about 5 years of "analysis of religion" during my grad school days....Came back to Jesus, missed Him.

Re: the anger, I think that there will always be the propensity in humans for anger toward ANY organized group, because, people in organized groups are just people and therefore mess up.

But, it gets icky, icky with Christianity because, well? judgmental? that is so against the morals of the love of Christ...

So, you is like I wrote about on my post re: Mental illness and Spiritual Growth. Very easy for people to talk, but hard to do the walk..

I wanted to let you know that **YOU and Misha** inspired me to go back to my church last Sunday. And, I was very blessed. So, Thank you :-)

I hope your day has improved....keep dancing marja, and if it is still a sad day, just sway a bit (for me, please?)