Trust and do good

Tonight I was once more overcome with regret for having bipolar disorder. I feel so bad for how it causes me to do things that I shouldn't do - my feelings, thoughts and actions not under control. I guess the main thing is how I lean so heavily on two or three people. Far too many emails. I imagine they must get quite tired of me. That makes me feel ashamed of myself.

As you know, I've been meditating on Psalm 37 for weeks now. And tonight I went to it again and found greater comfort there than usual.

Trust in the Lord and do good.

It's like a father telling his daughter, "Relax, don't worry, trust me. Do good and you'll be ok. Focus on doing good and don't worry about the rest."

Dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

"Grow where you're planted and enjoy your life. You're safe in my care," says my Lord. And I realize that I need to focus on the good I can do and not on the blunders so much. Do my best. That's all I can do.

Please, God help me to feel the comfort of your love, no matter how bad my disorder. And help me share that love with others.