Thursday, July 17, 2008

For Jena

A couple of days ago I visited Jena in hospital. I had for a long time been wanting her to play the piano for me - because I love piano music and because I heard her play one of her songs before and it was beautiful - original - soulful.

She couldn't imagine why I would want her to play for me - doesn't think her music is that good. But I wanted to hear what would come out of her, knowing the creative mood she's in, knowing that she plays from the heart - not music written by others, but her very own music.

Jena is self-conscious about playing, so we turned the lights off and she played in the dark. She played - not anything she had spent time composing - simply whatever came to her. And it was truly beautiful. She is an excellent pianist and a very creative composer. Her playing did something for me. It made me feel like I needed to do something creative too. Haven't done that for so long!

One advantage to being bipolar is that this disorder and the strong moods that come with it often make us very creative people. This is particularly true for Jena right now. She's trying her hand at painting, eager to learn about mixing colors. She's keeping a collage journal. And she's writing. Such a lot to get out right now - such a lot of feelings to give expression to!

Those of us who know Jena - in real life and from her blog - need to pray that she will find stability so her life won't be so difficult. We need to pray that her doctor will find an answer for her.

Jena asked me to post one of the watercolors I've done. I think I posted this before, but it was a long time ago. I don't think any of you will remember. This is a Dutch street scene, taken from a painting my dad did years ago. Different from his in that I drew it first with India ink, but the same composition.


Jena said...

Wow Marja, first of all you are a beautiful painter and I am so happy you posted one of your watercolor paintings! Thank you also for your encouragements, it is a strange thing to hear merciful words and encouraging points of hope from an objective source when it is about the heart of your very own self, especially when you would have never thought yourself to be worthy of any of it. You have shown me grace and hope in this post. Thank you so much, Marja. I mean it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Marja
i like your work one thing i never date my work on the front that way it is fresh and timeless

Nancie said...

Marja, thanks for sharing this lovely work with us! Thank God for giving you many talents to serve Him! I am so glad you are able to spend time with Jena. Must be lovely to hear her playing the piano. I am keeping Jena in prayers regularly. You take care too!

shebee said...

You have such a beautiful spirit, thank you so much for paying tribute to Jena. She truly is an amazing person :)

marja said...

You're welcome, Jena. Worthy? That's the trouble with a lot of people. Too many people don't feel they're the worthy people they are. They don't realize how lovable they are. You are VERY worthy, Jena! And don't ever forget that.

marja said...

Anonymous: Thanks for that thought about not dating paintings. Sounds like a good idea.

marja said...

Thank you, Nancie. Sounds to me like you're getting better. You're so strong in hanging in there the way you have, keeping your faith in God always uppermost in your mind. You're and inspiration. I'll have to come and visit your site soon.

marja said...

Shebee: You're still around! How am I going to find out when the baby is born? Will you tell your husband to let us know?