Beyond imagination

God can do anything, you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams!

He does it not by pushing us around but working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.

                                                                                                                                                                             Ephesians 3:20-21 (MSG)

That is so very true!

When I was young I was afraid to speak up in class or to other people. Being a leader of Living Room support ministries was the furthest thing from my mind, but that's what God made me.

When I think of what my life used to be like, I marvel at how it has changed. As a teen I had social anxiety disorder and depression. At the age of nineteen I spent nine months at Riverview, a major mental hospital in British Columbia. This was followed by a  lifetime of struggles with psychosis, depression and mania.

At the age of forty I decided I could no longer live on my own strength but needed God! I gave up my need for control and surrendered my life to Him. I soon learned what it was to receive divine love. My life became more meaningful. Although I wasn't cured of my disorder, I found a measure of healing. I grew.

I never dreamed that I would become an activist, trying to erase the stigma attached to mental illness. God's spirit worked within me, giving me the courage to respond to His invitation to join Him in the work He was - and still is - doing in the world. He led me from project to project, one step at a time. I never knew where He was taking me or how long the journey would be. That's how God operates. He doesn't let you see the big picture ahead of time. The important thing is to trust and follow. 

God helped me create church-based Living Room support groups, places where people with mood disorders can talk openly about their faith and their mental health problems. Before Living Room it was seldom possible for people to safely talk about these two things together - not in the secular world nor in the Christian  world.

I've struggled with bipolar disorder for 48 years now, unable to hold a paying job. In spite of that, I have been able to work for God - not doing anything wonderful on my own, but simply being His foot soldier. I went where He led, speaking and writing the words He gave me. Amazing what can be accomplished when we decide that the work is not our own, but God's. Such a wonderful world He opens up for us - a life that's beyond what we could ask for or imagine.

It's a privilege to be doing this work, including sending you these emails. I feel blessed to be able to serve God in this way.

May God bless you too as you follow Him on your journey - step by step, day by day. 

PS: This is a recent email I sent to the people on my list - one of my Reflections on Scripture. If you would like to start receiving these, mailed out every Monday, go to the Homepage of the Living Room website to sign up. You can unsubscribe at any time.

Brokenhearted

My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit;

    a broken and contrite heart

    you, God, will not despise.

                           Psalm 51:17

 

Have you ever felt really bad about something you've done or the way you've behaved? It happens to everyone at times. But when our moods aren't stable, we are especially susceptible to feelings of guilt. Sometimes well-founded; sometimes - when we're thinking irrationally - not so. We are often "brokenhearted." 

 

I've found that praying Psalm 51 offers great comfort when I'm hurting. David wrote it after he realized how wrong he'd been to have committed adultery with Bathsheba and to have her husband killed. David tells God that he has a "contrite [or repentant] heart," having a desire for forgiveness, a desire to change and become the kind of person God wants him to be. When I read David's words over and over, I too am able to express my deep regret and pain. I draw closer to God as well.

 

Good things come from humbly going to God with a broken and repentant heart. Scripture has shown how it can help make us into people God is able to use. There's David, for example, as portrayed in Psalm 51: Although great sin had led David to write this prayer, he became a person the Bible referred to as "a man after God's own heart." And then there's the apostle Peter in the New Testament: After he denied knowing Jesus three times before His crucifixion, Luke 22:61-62 reports how he "went outside and wept bitterly." The agony he must have suffered, realizing how he had turned his back on his Lord! He, too, had a broken heart. It was a heart that was ready to change, ready to obey God. The rest of Peter's story shows him to be a transformed man - a humble, but bold and dynamic speaker. He became a man who gave his all to Jesus.

 

If David and Peter were brought closer to God in their brokenness, able to be used by Him, could we not as well?  

 

marja

 

 

PS: Glenda de Vries, the co-facilitator of the Living Room group at Rouge Valley Mennonite Church in Markham, Ontario, had an article published in the Christian Courier last week. The title of the piece: GOD LOVES THE BROKENHEARTED. You can access it by going to http://www.christiancourier.ca/features.php. Congratulations Glenda, and thank you for helping raise much-needed awareness. We're proud of you.

 

 

(If you would like to receive reflections on Scripture like this one - written with people with mental health problems in mind - go to the Living Room website and subscribe on the homepage.)

At the feet of Jesus

A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee's house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. Luke 7:37-38

Where did that weeping come from? I don't think it was simply sadness or joy. I think I can relate. Can you relate as well?

Her weeping reminds me of how I cried in church when I had just started following Jesus. Many times tears would flow inexplicably during the singing of the hymns. I could not hold them back. I was like a child who had been separated from her mother far too long and was newly returned to her. My tears released my pent-up emotions - relieving the stress of trying to do life on my own. Not knowing the love of Christ had been harder on me than I had realized. I was embarrassed to break down like this in church, yet it felt good to let it all out. The tears cleansed my soul.

How this woman must have loved Jesus! Other people, like the Pharisee, treated her with disdain. But Jesus saw her as a person He could accept and love, in spite of her sins. What a relief it must have been for her.

I've heard from many people who have such emotions surface during worship...not only new believers. Tears in church are not uncommon at all. But imagine if we could have the physical presence of Jesus right there with us. Imagine if we could, like that woman, kneel at His feet when the tears come rolling down.

...Maybe we could do the next best thing. Next time we feel the tears surfacing, we could close our eyes and picture Jesus with us. We too could worship at His feet, knowing that we don't have to struggle on our own. We too are loved. We too are forgiven.

(If you would like to receive reflections on scripture similar to this, written with people with mood disorders in mind, go to www.livingroomsupport.org to subscribe.)

Pockets of heaven on earth

When Jesus appeared to the disciples after His resurrection, "...he opened their minds so they could understand the Scriptures. He told them, 'This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in His name to all nations...'" (Luke 24:45-47)

Preaching "repentance and forgiveness" - that is indeed what has happened ever since Jesus died and rose again.

I've been reading about the Easter story and am thinking more about what happened after, the resurrection that we celebrated yesterday. What a wonderful story it is!

The world has changed so much since then. The most common way of living before Jesus's ministry was one of pride and retaliation. Jesus's dying and rising ushered in a new way of living for those who followed Him. It ushered in God's reign - God's way - the kingdom of God (or kingdom of heaven as some parts of the Bible call it). The way of love and reconciliation and healing and hope has been preached ever since.

In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray "...your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." (Matthew 6:10) God's will is being done on earth today. Don't you see pockets of heaven all around you? I know, there's a lot of pain and struggle and ugliness. But there are also little pockets of heaven in our community and - indeed - the whole world. People are helping the poor and the sick. They are working to protect the environment. We can all help to make such pockets of heaven happen. We can help build God's kingdom - little by little, each of us in our own way, as we are led by God.

I can see God's kingdom happening for people living with mental illnesses, at least in part. Although there is still a lot of stigma attached to mental illness, as there is for a lot of other things, there has been improvement. When my book Riding the Roller Coaster was published, there were few people with mental health issues telling their story. Today there are many books out by those who live with mental illness. More positive stories are being covered in newspapers and magazines and on TV. And look at the Living Room ministry. That is definitely a kingdom builder. Can't you see how God's reign is getting stronger all the time?

Today I'm looking out on a sunny day. So happy for it, because in our part of the world we haven't had much sun this year. Our garden isn't looking too great yet. There's a lot of cleaning up to do after the winter. But we have two or three pockets of heaven happening here: We have daffodils - my favourite colour - yellow. I experience God when I thank Him for them. I worship God when I photograph them.

I pray you will find many pockets of heaven in your life, in your work and play...and in your neighbourhood.

   

Happy Easter!...Jesus Christ has risen! God's kingdom has come.

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"Be still and know..."

 

 

 

 "Be still, and know that I am God."   Psalm 46:10

 

Amazing what God will help us see and hear and think and feel when we spend quiet time with Him! How good it is to simplify things for awhile in the midst of our busy and oft messy lives. This is why so many of us like to spend the early part of the morning quietly reading God's word and praying. Such a rich experience it can be. It helps get the day off to a good start.

 

The sun is shining this Sunday morning - a truly wonderful thing, since we've had so much rain in Vancouver lately. Seeing the bright sky reminds me of the precious times I've spent on the patio in the early mornings during springs and summers of the past. One morning particularly stands out in my mind:

 

I was comfortably settled in my muskoka chair with my Bible, my journal, and my camera. I didn't always have my camera there with me, but the day before I had been delighted by a flock of small birds flitting amongst the stems of the tall daisies that bordered the patio. I hoped to get some pictures of them. Unfortunately, they didn't come back. But God did show me some other things.

 

As the sun started peeking over the tall row of cedars bordering our yard, I focused my camera on it. Shooting into the sun can do interesting things. So I played, including the daisies in the pictures and then bringing in the fuschias hanging nearby. Gradually I did the unusual, holding the camera at an angle as I shot. It was an exciting process. You know, when I'm creative and play like that - as a child might - not judging, not having preconceived ideas of what I want to achieve, I believe God has a hand in what happens. He shows me things I might have missed if I hadn't been so open - if I had gone my own way. This was my time with Him and He led me to see things in a way I hadn't seen them before.

 

I look forward to warmer weather, time to once more get out on the patio early in the morning. Thank God for all He has to show us - in our reading, in our seeing, in our thinking and feeling. We just have to stay open to Him, don't we?... holding our hands out to receive what He will give us each morning.

 

I pray for sunny days for all of us - not only outside, but within our hearts as well.

 

 

(I am now sending reflections like this to people by email. If you haven't got access to a Living Room group, this might be another option. To get on my list, go to www.livingroomsupport.org and sign up. You can unsubscribe at any time.) 

Slaying our Goliaths

"You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied."

 

David in 1 Samuel 17:45

 

I recall vividly how I felt one day several years ago. I felt like a very small person trying to do something that was far beyond her. I wanted to reduce the stigma towards mental illness, especially the misunderstanding and poor support that exists in the church.

 

I felt like David facing Goliath. The difference was, that although David was probably not a fully grown man, he was confident. I wasn't confident at all. My Goliath looked like one huge messy mass. David aimed for the giant's forehead, but I couldn't see the face nor the arms or legs. How could I possibly attack when I had no place to aim?

 

David inspired me.

 

Through David, God reminded me that He has the strength and the power to fight such wars. With Him, all things are possible. (Matthew 19:26) Fighting stigma and working for the good of people living with mental illness is God's work - not mine alone. All I have to do is to be God's foot-soldier, to go where He leads, and say the words He gives me to say. Looking at it that way gave me courage and strength. When I remember that God is in charge, I can do the work. He helps me devise plans and helps me know what to aim for.

 

We all have Goliaths in our lives; we have many different kinds of challenges. It could be coping with illness or learning to cope with a difficult job. It could be building a stronger marriage or helping make our community a better place.

 

If we could only trust God to help us deal with our Goliaths, as David did... It might take time; we will probably have to be patient. And God could have plans for us that differ from our own. I know from experience though, that we can trust Him to know best. Trusting Him and being prepared to join Him in the work can leave us pleasantly surprised with the outcome -to say nothing of the process.

 

I haven't always trusted God, too often trying to work under my own strength, frustrated - even suffering - as a result. But in the end, I do know He has taken the Living Room support ministry to places that have surprised me. The email ministry is one of them. My job is to follow God, one little step at a time. It's a wonderful mystery tour own which only He knows where we are going.

 

May God bless you richly and may He take you on an amazing mystery tour of your own as you slay your Goliaths.

 

 

If you'd like to receive reflections like this to your inbox, go to the Homepage of the Living Room website to sign up for them. You can unsubscribe at any time. You will become a member of an "almost" online Living Room :)

 

A lesson from the buttercup

Let the light of your face shine on us.
Fill my heart with joy…
                                               Psalm 4:6-7

I’'ve spent some delightful times on spring days, lying with my camera in the middle of a field of buttercups. The shiny gold blooms, growing in a park not far from my home, were a joy to behold. The stems were tall enough so I could lie underneath them, shooting up from below, using the blue sky as a backdrop. Dancing around on their lanky stems, the cheerful blossoms reminded me of the innocent, open spirit of children.

Quoting Charles Spurgeon again: (such a great preacher he was, and a gifted writer). In Morning and Evening he writes:

“
"The Christian should be like those lovely spring flowers which, when the sun is shining, open their golden cups, as if saying, ‘'Fill us with thy beams!’' but when the sun is hidden behind a cloud, they close their cups and droop their heads. So should the Christian feel the sweet influence of Jesus; Jesus must be his sun, and he must be the flower which yields itself to the Sun of Righteousness."”

I’'m looking forward to more of the clear days we had on Sunday and Monday here in Vancouver, so I can lift my face up to the sun and say “"fill me with your beams."” And I will experience the joy that a thankful heart can bring.

But, even if the sun isn'’t shining on us, God’s light will shine on us when we open ourselves up to Him.

May God bless you all with His beams.


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