Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Oh to be a David!

I've been running into glitches - at least I hope that's all they are. Last week I felt depressed for an evening and a day and today I am once more. I'm doing all I can to try to escape. Trouble is, in my effort to stay afloat I reach out to friends and I think they're probably getting tired of me. They have enough problems of their own.

If I could only do what I will be talking about on Friday - the devotional I shared in yesterday's post! If going to God would only be enough for me!

But no, I feel a need to cry out and complain to people "with skin on," wanting to make sure I'm heard (and felt sorry for). This past couple of hours though, I've been reading and praying the Psalms. The psalmists have such good ways with words, describing exactly the way I feel. By reading the Psalms I'm encouraged to believe; I'm encouraged to trust. If only I could be a David, and talk to God the way he does and trust so whole-heartedly the way he does.

What consoles me is remembering something I've said a number of times: "I almost have to experience depression once in a while if I'm going to do the work God has given me to do." If I'm going to be a good facilitator and understand fully the people I work with and for, I need to remember what it's like to suffer in that way, don't I?

And that makes me feel there's a purpose to all this pain. It's not for nothing.

Jesus said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (2 Corinthians 12:8) At times like this I understand fully what He meant.

I just pray that all this will translate into a good, heart-felt delivery of the devotional topic on Friday - "Intimacy with God." I pray that God's power will be made perfect. And I pray that I'll go to God first while I go through this. I also pray that this is not the beginning of something bigger. I need to try nipping this in the bud in whatever way I can.


Coco said...

Thank you for this post Marja. It really hit home with me, as I myself recently had a few really depressed days out of nowhere. It's so true! We have to be reminded in order to really understand others. How easy it is to forget.

Coco (still reading you lovely Marja :)

marja said...

Hi Coco,

Yes, it IS good to be reminded. However, when you're going through you tend to forget. All you feel is the pain. You get everything so out of perspective.