Friday, September 08, 2006

All shook up

I had a wonderful five days away - my husband fishing, and me reading, writing and knitting. It was so relaxing to sit in the sunshine looking out over the lake - quiet, warm, peaceful.

But tonight I'm not feeling quite as peaceful. I was in a traffic accident, broadsided on my (the driver's) side of the car by a bus. It seemed to happen so slowly. I saw the bus coming at me, honking like crazy, and there wasn't a thing I could do. I just knew he would hit me and that I might be hurt or not even survive. He was able to brake well enough so that he didn't hit too hard. I only ended up feeling very shaky and with a bit of a headache and slight neck pain. The car does not look like a bus hit it, but I'm sure will cost a bit to fix.

I am so thankful. It could have been so bad! Thank God!!

When I was working so hard on my book, before I decided I should put it aside for a couple of months, I used to worry whether I would die before I had a chance to finish it. I felt such pressure to focus, focus, focus. Since I began work on it 1 1/2 years ago I've always felt that it's the most important work I could be doing. If there's nothing else I accomplish past this point in my life, this book has to be finished and find a publisher...and today could have been it for me.

It just proves to me how important it is to get back to work on it as soon as I can. No more putting it off. It proves how fragile our lives are.

The book I'm working on is about how God has worked in my life with bipolar disorder. I am hoping that it will help promote a better understanding about mental health issues in the Christian community. There is still so much ignorance and stigma in the world, and in churches as well. Yet churches, probably more than any other single portion of society, should learn to understand. They should learn how they can love and support people like us who suffer from a disorder that is not our fault. Followers of Christ believe in loving people unconditionally. And it's this kind of love that we need to help us survive and grow. This kind of love gives us confidence and courage to face what living with mood disorders does to us.

I've felt God's hand help me in this writing. It is not something I'm doing on my own. And there are so many who I know would be helped.

I'm grateful to have survived another day. It was a wake-up call.

I feel better now that I've written this - calmer. Amazing how writing can help a person come together, isn't it?


jumpinginpuddles said...

it sounds like a good topic and will be helpful to many people, im glad you werent too hurt in the hit on your car adn i hope it doesnt cost a lot to get it fixed


Bleeding Heart said...

Hi Marja - I am so sorry about your experience. That must have been so scary. I know what you mean about getting things done. I think that all the time with things. I feel the same way about my second book. Hope all is well and I am thinking about you.