Thursday, June 21, 2007

Is this a bipolar thing? Uggh!!

In my journal this morning I made a list of all the things I'm trying to do and am overwhelmed. What I'm trying to do should be the work of an organization, not a single person!

How did I get into all this? Is this mountain the product of a bipolar mind? I haven't been hypomanic lately. Yet I'm always ambitious; I always have dreams. These things don't change. They're part of my personality.

But I can now see I have built a very high tower - brick by brick, not realizing how high it might become or how I would manage it or how I could keep it from toppling.

The good thing is that if I can't do some of the things I've personally committed myself to no one will be hurt...too much. I can let things go. Yet it's hard not to take advantage of opportunities. Letting go of some of the ones that have come along lately would be a shame. So I'm feeling pressured.

I have finished the manual that will serve as a tool to help other Living Room groups get started. And I've been hearing that people in other communities are now showing interest in starting them up. I would like to be able to support these new groups - to be there for them. I will also have to work at writing another manual for facilitators and another with sample devotional material. With those projects and writing for the website I mentioned in my last post, I have a lot of writing to do.

It's time to make a list. Time to set priorities.

God, please let me stay well. There's too much good work to do.


Chica. said...

I do that, too, Marja. I commit to too many projects and then I feel overwhelmed with the pressure that I give myself to do everything on my list.

It's good that you're seeing the need for a list of priorities. That's always a hard one for me to make. Everything seems like a priority. One priority that I always miss is myself. Is there a little you time in that list?

I can tell you to breathe, but I don't know if that will help. All I can tell you is that I'm sending positive thoughts your way.

marie said...

Just step back for a moment and catch your breath. I do not believe in the superwoman complex. Try and focus on one thing at a time. I too have a lot I want to accomplish right now. The most important of them is getting my poetry published.

It seems our bi-polar brains go into overdrive now and then. The challenge is recognizing it for what it is and doing someting constructive about it. Please take care


Bipolar Wellness Writer said...

Glad to hear about your finishing your manual. It's all quite exciting! Congrats!


marja said...

Thank you, Chica. Yes I DO need to remember to breathe...deeply. It's amazing how you forget to do that when you're stressed. And when you do concentrate on your breathing, the stress is greatly relieved.

Thanks, Marie, for your comment. One thing at a time IS what we need to do when we want to accomplish a lot. Focus, focus on one little detail at a time. Doing that means you can accomplish much, and without the stress. But sometimes...

Thanks for the encouragement, Susan. That manual could become a powerful tool to help others start a group like ours. I'm very happy with it.