Wednesday, October 22, 2008

In the company of Jesus

I've been waking up sad every morning lately. Spending time with God in sadness. And I wish it were enough for me to simply sit and be in the company of Jesus for comfort. But I so often want to reach out to friends when I feel like this. God, who I know loves me and who I know should be enough, isn't enough at times like this. I want to talk to people. And so I now reach out to my blogging pals.

Having Mom in limbo like this, waiting for a nursing home, not knowing if a good one will come along, is hard. Time in hospital moves slowly for her and I know I need to visit her often to keep her spirits up. Can't phone her and I miss doing that. Visiting her means a 45-minute drive each way.

Living Room is coming up in two days and I've so wanted to talk on the topic of being in the company of Jesus. I want to talk about how He is real and with us and we can talk to Him, our Friend. And I do feel Him with me, but I wish that were enough.

Yet you know, I think sharing this with you is a good thing. I do feel Jesus close and feel Him closer in the sharing of Him with others. You, my blogging pals and Him, together with me. My support from above and below. I need both. In the reaching out to you here, I am reaching out to Him. That's how love works, isn't it? That's how God works.

It has given me comfort sharing this with you today, though I've sat with tears in my eyes, something that doesn't happen to me very often. Maybe a good thing. Good to be real. Good to feel. Good to be human.

Please help me pray that a good home will come available to my mom soon. Please pray that I will stay strong.

I do feel I'm in the company of Jesus, even in my sadness. And that gives me comfort.

4 comments:

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Marja,
I'm off on vacation for a few days. Just wanted to let you know that I know how difficult all of this is. All my best!

Susan

Nancie said...

Dear Marja,

Thank God for giving you comfort in this difficult time. I love you and are praying for you and your mom.

Thank God that He is with us always even when our moods fluctuates. He promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us. He is our Hiding Place and Strong Tower! May you know His love and special care in many wonderful ways today.

Thank you for your prayers and encouragements to me.

With hugs and love in Christ,
Nancie

marja said...

Hi Susan, Have a good vacation, okay? It's comforting to know you understand what I'm going through. Thanks for your support. - marja

marja said...

Hi Nancie, Thanks for reminding me that God is our Hiding Place. That is what He feels like to me right now. Thanks for your love and encouragement. - marja