Saturday, February 21, 2009

Hurt feelings

Just want to throw a question out for people with bipolar disorder: Do you think bipolars get their feelings hurt easier than people who are emotionally healthy?

Doesn't take much sometimes to get me down. Usually social situations. Things to do with my friendships.

How is it for you?

19 comments:

Jena (Violet) said...

I find that when I'm "less stable" which is basically me being off loads of lithium (which numb me out), I tip over a bit emotionally. Right now, I'm on the edge of mental stability and also emotional stability. It seems to pair. I have a little flavour of rapid cycling going on, and I also cry at the drop of a hat. It's weird. So I would say yes, for me there is a connection.

marja said...

Would you say you're overly sensitive, Jena? I've been told I am that, and I know I am. Just curious whether my disorder is to blame or my personality.

marja said...

Ahh, but the pain at times, eh?

Jena (Violet) said...

Much pain at times :(
but I can't help but also mention the gladness at times too. Right?

Jena (Violet) said...

Oh, yeah, I was always told I was over sensitive when I was younger. But when I was diagnosed and medicated and it all went away, it made so much sense. That's why I think that it's related to bipolar more than personality, IF you have the actual clinical disorder that is treatable with medication.

marja said...

Yes, we DO get both extremes. Though even the gladness can be hard to bear. What do you do with all the bubbling over?

Think we might talk at Living Room this Friday about what to do with the pain when it hits.

Jena (Violet) said...

I suppress my tears. The bubbling over causes me to cry, over and over.

When the pain is really tough, I do a few things. I let myself cry when I'm alone. I let it out with no shame. I fall back on my other coping mechanisms like playing the piano or making the collages. I get outside and walk. Walking in places with a nice view tend to help put things in perspective. Many times I can't find it in me to phone friends, but some people might want to turn to loved ones when in great pain.

Marja, I am so sorry to hear you are in pain. Hurt and disappointment are heart-wrenching, I know.

marja said...

I'm okay now, Jena. Guess I'm just not that stable right now. We've been messing around with my meds to try and get rid of the tremors so I can photograph. So I was way up over the last couple of days and in tears this afternoon.

But I turned to a friend. That's what I find I have to do when I'm down. And the best kind of friend to turn to is someone who will listen with compassion and then pray with me. Fortunately I have a couple of those. And what a treasure they are!

In the end, it's the prayer - with the help of someone turning to God - that is most healing.

Wonderful thing about today, though: For the first time in a long while no tremors.

Jena (Violet) said...

Wonderful! I really do understand about the tremors. They affected my ability to paint.

I'm so glad you have a close friend you can turn to. How special to have such a bond!

Hope you continue to feel better.
Night :)

Merelyme said...

Yes absolutely! well...at least it is true for me. I am very sensitive and just have always been that way. and the rollercoaster moods don't help.

It is so good to see you...sorry I haven't visited in some time!

marja said...

So good to see you too, Merelyme. And I haven't been visiting others either. Feel bad about that.

Anonymous said...

Hi Marja,

I have always admired your passion and work to erase the stigma and discrimination so many people with mental health conditions face. However, I am a bit surprised that you would say "bipolars" instead of "a person with bipolar disorder". The latter statement portrays the person/individual first, not a label/diagnosis which could upset a person and leave them more vulnerable to to being viewed in a discriminating way.

Just my thoughts...

marja said...

You're absolutely right, Anonymous. Thank you for pointing that out. I guess I've been hearing it so much I fell into using it as well. I usually don't. I'll try to be more careful.

Wellness Writer said...

Marja,
Hi, I'm back. Yes, I do feel that bipolar people have their feelings hurt more easily. I certainly feel that way during a depressive episode because I'm so super sensitive to criticism then--and much less so when I'm "normal."

But, I remember getting my feelings hurt very easily in childhood as well. I kept on trying to "toughen up," but it didn't work very well.

Also, when I was on medication that caused behavioral changes--and I became too hypomanic--my feelings were constantly hurt by people's response to me.

Although I realize part of it was due to "over the top" behavior, it's had a lingering effect.

Susan

marja said...

Welcome back, Susan. I've so missed you. Well it certainly doesn't look like I'm alone with over-sensitivity. I've found that it is good, though, when I'm hurting in that way to have someone to talk it over with - to help me get things in perspective.

As I said, Susan. So good to "see" you again.

I'll visit you later this morning.

Love, marja

Dreamwriter said...

I think that we are more hurt to our feelings because we are more real.

Since having bipolar, I cannot believe the lack of compassion and respect from others.

It is reallys sad.

marja said...

I'm sorry it's that way for you, Dream. I think we "can" be real, but I'm not sure if all people with bipolar disorder are. A lot of us hide it, but then probably suffer even more because they're having to hide such an important part of what makes them like they are.

It would be so good if we could all be open and be understood too. Even if people would make an honest attempt to understand, we would feel better.

B.F. said...

When I'm manic, nothing can hurt me. When depressed, I hurt too much to care. When I'm stable, I'm emotionally healthy.

marja said...

BF: That's probably "usually" the way it is for me as well. Guess sometimes I'm unstable and can go from a high to a low pretty easily. That's when I'm very vulnerable.