Bedrock beneath my feet

I'm getting along not too badly. Hard to stay active though. I prefer to sit and think. To meditate. Or would you call this ruminating?

Yesterday I emailed a friend telling her how I see things piling up around me that need to be done. And it makes me feel butterfly anxious, knowing I don't have the motivation to do very much about it. I felt like I was enslaved, in chains, struggling to free myself. And when I wrote that, I realized that this was a big part of the problem. I'm trying to do free myself when I should be trusting that God can help me do that. It's wrong to think I can do this on my own.

I turned to Psalm 18 which has encouraged me to lean on God in the past. My favourite version of the first two verses comes from the Message:

I love you, God-you make me strong. God is bedrock under my feet.

And I prayed:

Thank you, Lord. I know you are with me. I know you can free me from this depression. Please help me to let it go-to trust in your ability to loosen the chains.
I trust you and place myself in your hands.
Thank you for your love and thank you for making me strong.
Yeah, I'm strong! Through you I'm strong.

Today I had a fine breakfast with a favourite friend. Now I'm getting the house into shape. And I'm writing to you, my blogger pals, and that is good. Tomorrow I'll pick up a friend who has been in hospital for awhile to accompany her on a six hour pass. Church will be part of it. It will be a fine day.

Things are looking up. And I know God is with me, making me strong. He is bedrock beneath my feet.

(Originally I wrote this post without the photograph. But I added it because to me it suggests prayer - an intimacy with God.)

Bedrock under my feet

Darn! I just saw my GP and there's nothing physically wrong with me. This excessive sleeping I've been doing is "all in my head" - due to depression. My sleeping pattern has been weird lately, symptomatic of depression. I wake up at four or five (six is normal for me) and don't go back to sleep - till the middle of the day, and then I feel like I want to nap all the time.

The sleeping, and the result - not accomplishing anything - is depressing. Or is it the other way around? Is it that I don't feel like doing anything, feel depressed, so escape by sleeping?

And yet I have some good times thrown in there as well. I'm really trying to line up things for myself to do, things that I might find stimulating. And yet it is too often hard to motivate myself.

I feel best when I'm around people. Had a wonderful time at church on Sunday. That morning set the tone for the rest of the day and my husband and I went for an outing, the kind of outing we used to take when we were younger. It was a good Father's Day for him.

A friend told me how wonderful Psalm 18 is, especially in The Message. When I went to it I was especially taken with the very first verse. I've had my Bible open to it ever since and look at it often. It encourages me to trust in God - to trust that He will give me a "firm place to stand."

"I love you, God - you make me strong. God is the bedrock under my feet."