Pressing on

It has been a very long time since I wrote here. Not much has changed since my last post. Guess that's why I haven't written. When I write I like to have words that will encourage and inspire and I've been having a hard time finding those words lately. Safer to just not say anything, eh?

I have good times when I function normally, alternating with times when I'm deep, clinging to negative thoughts. At times I lose hope. After all, this has been going on for three months now.

A series of stressful situations started this, Christmas - as usual - being one of them. But you would think it would let up after all the sources of stress have been resolved. It hasn't happened so far, but I am praying that it will happen soon. Thing is, I have to live my life and think positively, try not to dwell on the negative.

In past years I've always tried to learn from my moods - things that I could pass on to others. By encouraging others, I found I was encouraging myself. I remember sitting on my bed in the psych ward years ago working on Riding the Roller Coaster. I found satisfaction drawing from what I was going through, finding the good in the bad, and sharing it with the many others who I knew would be able to relate. Inspirational writing helped me cope with my own difficulties. That's one reason I've done as well as I have.

Today I don't have a book to work on, but I have this blog. I will try to write more often. I will try to use my writing to find the good in the bad and to share that good with you.

When I talk to my friend, expressing my feeling of shame over the way I've felt and behaved lately, she keeps telling me I need to move on. And I guess she's right. I certainly can't stay stuck here. There are things I've built my life on that require me to be strong. And I want to do those things. I want to help others who struggle with mood disorders. I want to help new Living Room groups form. I want to find the joy again - the holy joy I always feel after my Living Room meetings. I don't want to be a victim; I want to give.

I need to make Philippians 3:12b mine over the next while: "...I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." And in verse 13: "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead."

I need to think of tomorrow. What can I do tomorrow to bring forward the purpose God gave me to live for - to help erase stigma - to help people with mood disorders?

What good can I find in what I am going through to share with you, my blogging pals? I want you to be blessed by what I have to say and it is my prayer that I will - with the help of God - do so.

I will write more - maybe even today - as I work towards this. I will find the good in the bad. I know God will help me do so. He always has and He will again.

Feeling better

Yesterday and today have been much better days since I last wrote. I've been keeping busy, though I didn't get around to cleaning up the HUGE mess is the workshop. In fact, since I wrote about it in my last post I haven't given it another thought. I'm not good at cleaning or tidying. Would much rather make messes and be creative. If I were to die, would our son ever have a job sorting through all our stuff! One day I will have to think about cleaning up in a serious way. But will I ever find the time?

Yesterday I wrote a little piece for BC Christian News about the mental health service our church had several weeks ago. I also included something about Living Room. Another little effort to hopefully make a wee bit of difference. If other churches were to read it, they might become motivated to try the same thing we are doing. Submitting that to the paper last night has motivated me to carry on working for "the cause".

My next project is to write an article about how Christians can give support to friends suffering from depression. You may think, "Wouldn't the kind of support Christians give be the same as support given by anyone else?" The answer is, of course, yes. But the truth is that many still believe in depression having a spiritual basis. Also, there are spiritual ways of supporting people by praying with them or by letting them know you're praying. There's also the story of Job and his friends. Too many forget that story when they're trying to help depressed friends. It's a story that has lessons for us.

My neighbor has been telling me about her depressed friend who she is trying to give support to. "I don't know what to tell her to do anymore," she said. "I don't know how to help her." But that tends to be the trouble with a lot of people who are trying to help. They think that giving advice is going to fix the depression. The truth is they just need to be there to listen - to be available - to be compassionate - to be patient - to continue loving. For most people that's a hard thing to do. Everyone wants to fix things for others, when that is an impossible thing to do. It is so easy to make a depressed person feel worse.

I'm going to have to write about what it's like to be depressed as well. Supporters need to understand, though of course this would not be fully possible if they haven't been there themselves. Yet I'd like to try to describe it. This project will be a challenge, but a worthwhile challenge.

Just for fun, I've included a little picture I did here: a street in Havana. Please don't laugh too much at the car. It's the best I could do.