I'm back, hopefully for a while

It's been so long, but lately I've have a yearning to return here and write. I write my Monday morning emails every week, but somehow I'd like to post things more casually - less carefully crafted. I just want to talk from my heart. I want to tell you what has been happening in my life. I want to share the things that excite me.

For example, I want to let you know that I have a book almost ready to go to the publisher. Now that's exciting! I'm calling it Reflections for our Highs and Lows. It will be a gift book, specifically designed to give to people like us - people with mental health problems.

How would it be if a friend gave you a beautiful little book full of photographs and inspirational writing? How would you feel receiving a pretty little book like that? Having that available in Christians bookstores would make it a stigmabuster. And stigmabusting is what I've been into ever since the beginning of this blog.

Oh, I hope you'd love that little book. And I would hope it would make you feel much better. I'd hope it would make you feel cared about.

If you'd like to sign up for my Monday morning emails - Reflections on Scripture - please go here and I'll see you soon.

Hope you're all well.

marja

Mental health stigma declining

I received this press release from Screening for Mental Health, Inc. and thought it well worth passing on. It's something to celebrate. The world seems to be changing for the better. Although Depression Screening Day here in Canada happened last week, our friends in the US can still take part - this Thursday, October 11th.

October 9, 2012 (Boston, MA) - Most Americans are familiar with depression and do not attach a stigma to seeking treatment for it from a therapist. In fact, most Americans believe that depression is treatable and go so far as to say it would not affect their vote in a presidential election if they heard that a candidate had consulted a therapist for depression.

The public opinion poll findings released this month by Screening for Mental Health, Inc., a nonprofit provider of mental health screening programs, come as thousands of community-based organizations, military installations and colleges prepare to host National Depression Screening Day events on Thursday, October 11. Screening locations and anonymous online screenings are available at www.HelpYourselfHelpOthers.org.

“These findings tell us that our efforts to reduce stigma and increase the public’s knowledge of depression through events like National Depression Screening Day are having an effect,” said Douglas G. Jacobs, M.D., associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School and founder of Screening for Mental Health, Inc. “The goal of the program is to educate people on the symptoms of depression, assess their risk for mood and anxiety disorders and connect those in need with local treatment services.” 

The telephone poll conducted by Anderson Robbins Research surveyed 1,021 American adults between September 15 and 20 and sought to evaluate perceptions and knowledge of depression and mental health. 

Other key findings include:

·       Half (53%) of Americans personally know someone who has been treated for depression;

·       Nearly three-quarters (72%) say they’d be likely to speak with a health care provider if they thought they were experiencing signs of depression;

·       Two-thirds (67%) believe depression can be successfully treated most of the time;

·       Two-thirds (65%) say learning a presidential candidate had sought treatment for depression would have no impact on their vote. There were no significant differences with regard to political party identification;

·     Those who know people with depression are more likely than others to seek help themselves, (76%, compared to 66% of those who don’t know anyone with depression), and are more optimistic about the frequency with which depression can be successfully treated.

To continue to educate members of the public on the signs and symptoms of depression and suicide, and the correct course of action to take, National Depression Screening Day will take place on October 11.  As part of this 22^nd annual event, community organizations, colleges and military installations throughout the nation will offer free, anonymous mental health screenings. This event helps individuals learn the signs and symptoms of depression and suicide; educates friends and family members on what to do if a loved one is at risk; and gives individuals the opportunity to talk to a mental health professional about their own or a loved one’s situation. 

Mental illness and the church

I've been wanting to blog - much to tell you about, especially now that it's Mental Illness Awareness Week. But it's been hard to settle into it, though I will soon.

For now, though, I'd like to alert you to a superb article written by Frank Stirk for BC Christian News and canadianchristianity.com. Much of the article talks about my Living Room ministry. I'm excited about this. Happy about this, and hoping it will go a long way to reducing some of the stigma in the church. Please do have a look and pass the link on to others.

See you soon.

An illness like any other

Michelle's difficulty with accepting her diagnosis of bipolar disorder prompts me to share an excerpt from my first book, Riding the Roller Coaster. Throughout the writing of this book I held in mind the people who were newly diagnosed and how hard it is to come to terms with it and how hard it is to learn to cope.

An Illness Like Any Other

"What consoles me is that I am beginning to consider madness
as an illness like any other, and that I accept is as such."
- Vincent van Gogh, in a letter to his brother, 1889

We always think of mental illness as something that happens to other people, not to us. To be diagnosed with depression or manic depression is a scary thing. But how we cope with our mood disorder is largely determined by how we look at it. If we can accept it as the illness it is - an illness like any other - we will be ready to move ahead with our lives in a positive way.
The negative view much of society has of mental disorders is partly due to the fact that people do not understand there is usually a physical basis for these illnesses, often in the form of a chemical imbalance. This imbalance is treatable with medication. With effective treatment most of us can live close-to-normal lives. Mental illness is an illness like any other.
In fact, mood disorders are comparable to other illnesses, such as diabetes. A diabetic is not to blame for his or her illness. Neither is a person with a mood disorder. Just as diabetes can cause serious disability and even death, so can mood disorders. Diabetics often require the use of medication to maintain stable blood sugar levels. People with mood disorders also require medication, in their case, to maintain emotional balance. Finally, as is the case with those who have diabetes, if people with mood disorders take their medications regularly, chances are they will live a close-to-normal life.
Nevertheless, because of the fear of having a "shameful" condition, or of being labeled by society, many don't search out the help they so desperately need. What results is much unnecessary suffering by people who could otherwise have been helped.
In recent years much research has been done and doctors, mental health associations, societies and libraries can provide much information. Mood disorder self-support groups are an especially good source of information. Here we can find pertinent literature and discuss affective illnesses with others who have problems similar to our own.
As we come to terms with our disease we learn to understand how imperative medications and other treatments are - how they form the basis for our well-being. Once we have the physical aspects of our illness under control, we can prepare to take charge of our lives and make the most of the strengths we all have.
As we walk with our friends and acquaintances, we should walk with self-assurance. In that great family of individuals who suffer from personal problems, sicknesses, and handicaps, each of us is a unique yet ordinary member.

Note: I wrote the above ten years ago. It was utterly unthinkable to me that a person with bipolar disorder could manage without medication. I know it has never been possible for me. I also know that the majority of people with bipolar disorder that I come across - and I meet many in the work I do - medication is necessary if they are to function normally. However, I also know that in the blogs I've read there are a number of people who are making it without or with very little medication. I would not recommend trying to persevere without medical care at the cost of being unstable. Bipolar disorder can cause a lot of damage - to our finances, our relationships, our safety, and even the safety of those around us. It needs to be adequately managed. Medications can make a good, productive life possible.

Who has sinned?

At Living Room this Friday I'd like to once more discuss the topic of stigma. Stigma is something so many of us have trouble dealing with. Stigma often causes even more pain than the symptoms of our illness do. Stigma causes many of us to deny we have a problem. We're afraid to face up to the fact that we have a mental illness. So we don't go for help. We reject the medical care that might help us live easier lives. Stigma causes a lot of damage.

In Jesus' day too there was stigma attached to all forms of illness. Illness and disability was believed to be caused by a person's personal sin.

Jesus and his disciples came upon a blind man. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life." (John 9:2-3)

If we could only believe what Jesus says here! If we could only stand up to that stigma and not accept it! If we could only live, knowing that our illness is not our fault and that we are as okay as anyone else! We only happen to have a disorder, just like people have other disorders. If we could only manage to live without any sense of shame!

I have spoken openly about my life with bipolar disorder for over ten years now. I'm fortunate that I was able to do that, without fear of reprisals from employers that might not take kindly to having someone with a mental illness working for them. (My husband supports me well.) Having my articles and book published has been tremendously helpful. People respect me for coming out in the open. I have found friends who support me and understand me, fully knowing my problems.

There's nothing more wonderful than to be able to live without having to hide anything. I have no need to lie. I can be myself - fully, authentically myself. What freedom!

I wish this were possible for everyone!

Is this possible for you? Could you afford to me more open about your problems? How are you dealing with stigma?

Understanding people who do not understand

First of all I need to answer Syd's questions in her comment to my last post. (Doing it here to make sure she sees it.) I belong to a small congregation of about 150 members. It belongs to the Christian and Missionary Alliance of Canada (Alliance for short). The two distinctives of our denomination are that of leading people into a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and sending people out around the world to tell others about the good news of God's love for them.

In the last post I talked about how my congregation learned to understand and support people with mental illness. I think one important thing that helps me when I try to educate and help people understand mental health issues - whether it's in my writing or meeting with them - is that I try hard to understand the people who don't yet understand.

I believe we need to go further than just believing that people need to understand US. We need to understand THEM as well. Understanding works best when it goes two ways. We should understand EACH OTHER. That means that we who live with mental illness should also have some empathy for people who are well but need encouragement to grow in their understanding of what mental illness is and isn't. We need to have some patience with them and educate them gradually. Their learning will be a process - a step-by-step cutting through the stigma that is so heavily ingrained.

We want healthy people to be able to put themselves in our place and have empathy; but we who live with mental illness also need to try to put ourselves in their place and understand why they have trouble having that empathy. We need to understand how to build empathy where it doesn't presently exist. And we need to have patience for the process, not getting angry or frustrated, having enough self-esteem to believe that we can change things.

When we have empathy for the people who are in the dark about mental illnesses like bipolar disorder, when we understand why they don't have compassion, and when we can love them nevertheless, we can start changing things.

It's a matter of believing in ourselves enough so that we feel no shame or guilt. People will then not be able to hurt us as much by their misunderstanding attitudes. We can learn to ignore snubs and not return them with the same. When people have trouble reaching out to us, we can reach out to them. We need to introduce people gently and gradually to the knowledge of what it means to have an illness like we have. We must not internalize the stigma. We must not accept the stigma, but live as though it doesn't exist.

I don't know if this is possible for everyone. From what I've heard from others, it appears not. Perhaps it's been possible for me because of my decision ten years ago to start educating the public by writing about my illness, trying to build empathy and compassion. Reducing the stigma of mental illness has been my main objective in life ever since. Perhaps that's why I've been able to help build compassion in my church. I have learned not to be hurt by people who don't understand me.

I believe that most people want to have compassion. They only need to understand our illnesses better. For that to happen, the stigma that produces fear in people and makes them avoid learning about it needs to be reduced. And the only way to reduce stigma is for people to talk openly about it. When we make mental illness a natural thing to talk about, it's amazing how many people with such problems will come out of the woodwork. It's amazing how much more support can be built.

I thank God that in my church mental health issues have become an okay thing to talk about - something for which we don't need to feel shame. And how freeing that is!

Helping a church become supportive

Susan Bernard's last post prompts me to talk a bit about how my church became as supportive as it has towards people with mental health problems. In the comments Susan and Sydney say how they wish they could find a place of worship like mine. I'm hoping that this post will help you understand that this support has only grown gradually, over time. I had to educate members of the congregation and they needed to have time to get to know me and come to understand what my illness does to me.

When I first started going to this church, I too felt lonely. It took time to get to know people and start feeling comfortable. But there was one woman who took it on herself to talk to me Sunday mornings. She invited me to a ladies' group she led and I came to know people there. Because of the heart-felt discussions we had, I ended up telling them about my mental health problems.

Soon after I started attending, I decided to visit the pastor. I wanted him to know of my problems. If anything were to go wrong with me I wanted him to be aware. I wanted him to understand. I gave him a copy of Riding the Roller Coaster, telling him how I wanted to help reduce the stigma attached to mental illness. Several months later I had a meeting with him and his wife and gave them a gift of a photograph I made, together with a story I wrote describing how I found God. We talked a little more about my disorder and the three of us prayed together. My pastor always asked God to help him learn more about mental illness through me. (pretty neat, eh?)

Being a big letter writer, I ended up emailing my pastor often when I was going through my moods. I tend to be a very spiritual person and have a great need to express my feelings about God and how I experience him (as you have seen on this blog). My pastor came to know me quite well. Many emails went to my ladies' group leader as well. She ended up becoming my best friend, my best supporter, my sister, my mother, my mentor - all rolled into one. These two individuals have helped me grow in a huge way.

At church, occasional readings about my life followed. My struggles were now common knowledge. Yet I had lots of friends. I loved them and I felt loved in return. After one of my readings, a number of church members came up to me and shared some of their own problems with me. It felt good to connect in that way. I wanted people like these to have a place where they could freely share more of their pain with others who would understand. And so the plan for a Living Room support group was born.

Today, when someone in the church is known to have an emotional problem, they are introduced to me because it is believed that I will understand and be able to give support. (It happens very frequently.) I'm not sure how I feel about that. I do like supporting people, but somehow I wish that some of the healthier people would not be afraid to do the supporting as well.

The wonderful thing is this: with Living Room as an important part of our ministry, people in our church are less worried about being open about their mental health struggles. Living Room is often talked about. I don't think people feel too much shame being connected with it. I know I don't. And I think in turn, others don't either. This is what true church support should look like.

Church response to the mentally ill

All of you who are interested in issues of faith and mental health would find this article by Peter Andres of Mennonite Central Committee Supportive Care Services in BC a worthwhile read...and it's not only because he quotes me.

What deeply impassioned me once again was the comment by a person named Daniel from South Africa. Is there ever a lot of work to do to educate the Christian church! I pray that God will help us do that. I pray that God will help Christians listen.

Victory over the darkness (part two)

I finished reading the book and still think it has serious problems and is a dangerous thing for Christians to be reading, especially Christians who want to be supportive of those suffering from depression and other mental illnesses.

Neil Anderson spiritualizes everything.

• In one place he talks about a woman who had been hospitalized several times for paranoid schizophrenia. He claims that she was cured as a result of his counseling. There is no mention of whether she was on medication or not. If she was being treated for schizophrenia, I very much suspect she was. But Anderson makes us believe it was simply spiritual counseling from him that made her well.

• In another place he relates the story of a man who had a breakdown and was committed to a mental hospital against his will by his parents. When he was released he carried on dialogue with voices in his head. Assuming the role of psychiatrist, Anderson claims the man's problem was due to his suppressing his emotions, not willing to admit that he was angry at his parents for having put him in hospital.

• Anderson also says that we have the power to control what we think. When we think right, our emotions follow suit. But what if our brain isn't working the way it should? So many people, like him, believe that our mind is something that we can always control. They don't recognize that the mind is housed in an organ, our brain. Like other organs, things can go physically wrong with it, affecting our thinking, feelings, and behavior.

Neil Anderson has a lot of good things to say. It's only too bad that he doesn't look on our emotional and mental health in a wholistic way. Too bad that he tends to think that anything affecting our minds has a spiritual basis.

Did I already say that this kind of preaching is at the root of the harm Christians are doing to themselves (if they have a mental illness) and to their mentally ill friends? Thinking that mental illness is the result of spiritual problems adds to the shame and guilt people feel. The pain this causes is often worse than the pain caused by the symptoms of the disorder. And these people then do not go for medical help, believing that would be an expression of lack of faith - a further reason to feel guilt and shame.

So, if I were to speak in a balanced way about Neil Anderson's approach--trying not to fall into the same all-or-nothing trap that he is in--I believe his teachings on how to counsel people about some of their emotional problems are valuable. But if a person were going to follow these teachings, he would at the same time have to come to an understanding of what mental disorders are and the medical treatment needed. He would have to study information on depression, bipolar disorder, and other mental illnesses at the same time. Only then could he read this book and come to a responsible conclusion on what material to accept and what to reject.

It's time for Christians who are interested in helping friends with emotional problems (as so many are) to start reading other books - books that will give them some understanding of the medical issues.

Victory over the darkness

I will continue talking about Neil Anderson's The Bondage Breaker when I have finished reading Victory over the Darkness again.

I have read over half of this book and actually found a lot of good in it. Anderson describes how by living in the Spirit--living in Christ--we will be transformed to be the kind of person God intends us to be. We will experience peace and joy. This is true. I have found that to be true in my own life when I stay close to God. (though I still do experience a lot of depression and other mood swings in spite of it)

The biggest problem--a serious one--is its take on depression. Anderson does in one place on page 127 say "We can be depressed for biochemical reasons, but if there is no physical cause, then depression is often rooted in a sense of hopelessness or helplessness." The thing is--and he doesn't seem to be aware of this--a feeling of hopelessness is a symptom of clinical depression.

What angers me is this :

Anderson talks about the spiritual man as having "emotions characterized by peace and joy instead of turmoil." and for the Christian who does not walk by the Spirit: "...his emotions are plagued by negative feelings." He talks about depression as being present in those who do not walk with God. There is a distinct suggestion that depression is not possible within a person who is close to God.

It's this kind of preaching that is at the root of the extra suffering Christians with depression--as well as other mental illnesses--are made to undergo. This is why so many Christians tell their depressed friends that they're not right with God. This is why many Christians would not think of going for medical help. I had a psychologist call me a couple of months ago, wanting to know about Living Room. He wanted to tell his Christian clients about it because so many of them refused to take medication, believing their problems to be spiritual.

The awful thing about this is that Neil Anderson is so widely accepted and respected. A lot of damage has been done and is continuing to be done. Reading this book a couple of years ago was one of the things that prompted me to write my new, as yet unpublished book, A Firm Place to Stand. It was to counteract people like Neil Anderson.

I will continue to read on with an open mind, knowing that Neil Anderson does have a lot of wisdom to offer. I only wish he would have had some warnings about when a person should go for medical help--and that it's often necessary to fight depression with medication.

It's time, though, for Christian writers and pastors to become more fully aware of what mental illness is and what it can do to people. They need to learn how to encourage people to go for medical help instead of always assuming that their lack of spirituality is at fault.

What I wish my pastor knew...

...about bipolar disorder.

Yesterday someone googled the above and found my blog. I hope what you read was helpful. But I thought I would write on this to see if I can help more by letting you know roughly what I told my pastor when I first started coming to the church I'm now a happy member of.

My pastor has learned a lot because he has wanted to learn and has always listened with interest when I tried to teach him about my disorder. I'm very fortunate to have him in my life and he is a great supporter.

Soon after I started going to this church and had decided I wanted to keep going there, I went to see the pastor because I wanted to tell him about my disorder. I knew symptoms would come up that I would need support and prayer for. It was good insurance to make sure he was fully aware of what I was dealing with.

I told him how my moods are much more severe than the average person's, with my hand describing a slight wave for how the average person's moods are and then showing the roller coaster style fluctuations of moods I go through.

"These moods are caused by a physiological problem in my brain. I'm on medications for this and they help me lead a close-to-normal life. But even then, my moods can affect me, making my life very painful. The medications don't keep me well all the time and sometimes they need adjusting. My life has been very difficult (and I described some of my past). There will be times I'll need prayer. Since I became a Christian, life has been easier to deal with. I know I'm not alone when I suffer."

Because I've taken it on myself to try to reduce stigma in whatever ways I personally can, I told him about this and gave him a copy of my book, Riding the Roller Coaster.

Pastor Don then prayed with me, asking God to help him learn about bipolar disorder from me. And he has learned much about what I deal with. I often email him about things I'm going through and he has come to know me and my disorder very well. He has been very supportive. My faith-based support group, Living Room, would not be as successful as it is without his support for me. If only all pastors could have this kind of attitude!

Others in this church have also been very loving and supportive. One person in particular became a huge support for me - and mentor too. And there's another person who I call almost daily now. Gradually, many others in the congregation have come to know my story. Yet I feel accepted.

My biggest supporters have been those people who have taken the trouble to learn about bipolar disorder. They have asked me questions; they have a curiosity about how things are for me. They care enough to do all this. As a result, I've had the strength and encouragement to do much in what I care most about - raising awareness about mental illness. I've had people around me who want to learn and that is so very important. If it weren't for these people in my life, I don't know if I would have written the new book - one that still needs a publisher - A Firm Place to Stand. I know I would not have started Living Room. How important a caring church congregation is to how we survive...and thrive!

So many people in society are not willing to learn. How can we get through to them? How can we better educate people and remove the stigma that is so damaging? I would like others who struggle with mental illness to be able to find the kind of love and support I have.

A dizzy soul

I'll be going to Bible study in a little while and I know that one question our facilitator told us she will be asking us to answer is, "How is your soul?" I would have to answer that it's rather dizzy right now, though it is improving. I'm beginning to settle down - more able to focus on the jobs at hand.

For such a long time my main goal in life has been to reduce the stigma toward mentally ill people within the church. For so long I have been striving to educate Christians by writing articles, promoting a pastor's mental health workshop and writing a book. But now things are coming together.

www.canadianchristianity.com has asked me to contribute regularly on the topic of mental health and the church. The more I think about it, the more I realize this is a wonderful opportunity. This is exactly where I need to be. God is good.

In May this website published my testimony. Soon they will be publishing an article I wrote a couple of years ago, Mental Illness: The Result of Sin?

Other questions we will have to be prepared to answer at Bible study this morning is, "How have you seen God at work in and through your life since we last met?" and "What God-given dream are you nurturing?" My answers to these will be easy. God has been at work leading me to fulfill my dream and it's becoming a reality - bit by bit.

And that isn't all. Another great thing is happening. Someone in Abbotsford, a town 45 minutes from here, is working to start a Living Room group in her church. This could be the beginning of my dream to see Living Room groups in many churches.

It's amazing where God leads us when we let him!

Feeling better

Yesterday and today have been much better days since I last wrote. I've been keeping busy, though I didn't get around to cleaning up the HUGE mess is the workshop. In fact, since I wrote about it in my last post I haven't given it another thought. I'm not good at cleaning or tidying. Would much rather make messes and be creative. If I were to die, would our son ever have a job sorting through all our stuff! One day I will have to think about cleaning up in a serious way. But will I ever find the time?

Yesterday I wrote a little piece for BC Christian News about the mental health service our church had several weeks ago. I also included something about Living Room. Another little effort to hopefully make a wee bit of difference. If other churches were to read it, they might become motivated to try the same thing we are doing. Submitting that to the paper last night has motivated me to carry on working for "the cause".

My next project is to write an article about how Christians can give support to friends suffering from depression. You may think, "Wouldn't the kind of support Christians give be the same as support given by anyone else?" The answer is, of course, yes. But the truth is that many still believe in depression having a spiritual basis. Also, there are spiritual ways of supporting people by praying with them or by letting them know you're praying. There's also the story of Job and his friends. Too many forget that story when they're trying to help depressed friends. It's a story that has lessons for us.

My neighbor has been telling me about her depressed friend who she is trying to give support to. "I don't know what to tell her to do anymore," she said. "I don't know how to help her." But that tends to be the trouble with a lot of people who are trying to help. They think that giving advice is going to fix the depression. The truth is they just need to be there to listen - to be available - to be compassionate - to be patient - to continue loving. For most people that's a hard thing to do. Everyone wants to fix things for others, when that is an impossible thing to do. It is so easy to make a depressed person feel worse.

I'm going to have to write about what it's like to be depressed as well. Supporters need to understand, though of course this would not be fully possible if they haven't been there themselves. Yet I'd like to try to describe it. This project will be a challenge, but a worthwhile challenge.

Just for fun, I've included a little picture I did here: a street in Havana. Please don't laugh too much at the car. It's the best I could do.

It was wonderful!!

The mental health service at church surpassed my expectations. It was so wonderful that I spent the rest of yesterday in a bit of a daze, trying to process it all, listening to the CD that was made.

The speakers from the Living Room group spoke so openly, so from the heart. And the congregation was warm and welcoming to them. They received a hearty applause. Our pastor presented the sermon part - which was more like a friendly talk - in a compassionate way. He spoke of how we need to look at Jesus in how we live and how we treat others. It wasn't a sad or painful morning at all. All that was discussed was straight forward and honest and natural. There was a wonderful touch of humor here and there. Actually, I felt uplifted by it all and I know others did too. Many stayed behind to talk with the speakers.

The icing on the cake was the performance of Chalexa's song, Redeemed. Chalexa played the piano and Shebee sang. Some of you reading this will remember this song, published on Chalexa's blog a short time ago. I wished then that I could hear it sung and yesterday I got my wish. And the music truly does the words justice. And Shebee is a gifted singer. I wish I could share it here so you could all hear. I do hope Chalexa will write more songs like this, though I know it was born out of pain and I don't wish that for her.

One neat thing: Our pastor Don mentioned how Living Room isn't complete without chocolate. And it's true. Without fail, we have dishes of chocolate on the table at the meetings. We consider it good "medicine." So as people left the sanctuary the pastors' wives served chocolates to them.

As a result of yesterday, a couple of people in the church have indicated they would like to come to the next Living Room meeting. This is the great thing about talking so openly about mental health problems: By making it an ok thing to talk about, those who are suffering feel more free to come out into the open and share with others what they are going through. There is no longer a need to keep their pain to themselves. They no longer need to be alone in their struggles, but can find support from people who care.

This is what reducing stigma can do for people. And reducing stigma is possible. Little by little we can do it.

Feeling no shame, in spite of...

At Living Room tomorrow I'm going to open a discussion on stigma and how it has - or has not - affected us. I'm sure everyone will have stories: times they've been hurt or misunderstood.

I've said it before here: stigma is the greatest enemy of those who live with mental illness. I believe that it often causes us greater suffering than the symptoms of our disease. If we were understood and given love and support, our illness would be easier to bear. And if society did not harbor such a stigma, many more would accept the medical care they need. There would be no need hide their suffering.

I came to terms with the stigma element years ago when I decided to come out and write about my bipolar disorder. I don't internalize the stigma; I don't feel shame. At times I notice I'm shunned a bit by others, but it doesn't bother me (I don't think). I accept that this is the way things are...for now. But I won't accept that this is the way it should always be. We have to fight for a change in attitude towards mental illness. Only then will the lives of those who have to live with it improve.

I lost a dear friend when I came out. He thought my illness should remain hidden. It shouldn't be talked about. He now won't speak to me when I see him. He is a wise and loving man otherwise. I guess that's what hurts most. But I'm not sorry for speaking out. He is in the wrong. I know that what I'm doing is helping many.

Neat thing about coming out is that I have nothing to hide. After I started writing about it, my life became - quite literally - an open book. This is very freeing. I've never been sorry about doing that. And I'm grateful that my life situation is such that I can afford to be open. Since I don't have to work I don't have to worry about employers finding out.

Most of the people at my church know that I have bipolar disorder. In spite of that, I have many friends there and receive much love and support. It's good to know I can tell them when I'm not well and ask for prayer. My pastor has done all he can to learn about mood disorders and attends our Living Room group meetings. On May 6th he will give a sermon about mental illness, something he has never done before. If only all church goers who suffer from mental health problems could get this kind of support!