Monday, January 21, 2008

In a holding pattern

Thank you all: Dancer, Merelyme, Susan, Anne, Syd, Anonymous Mom, and Dream for your care and best wishes. Things are really on hold. Mom is stable and at present doesn't look like she's in her last days at all. As long as she is lying down, she is totally lucid and her gracious old self with visitors. But she can't stand or sit up by herself. When she is propped up in bed she quickly becomes dizzy and confused. She tries to eat a little bit of each meal, though she has no appetite. To think the doctor gave her only 24 hours to live last Wednesday! He is now saying she has the heart of an ox. Who knows how long she could carry on like this.

I spent three nights sleeping in the room with her and the last two nights sleeping in the motorhome with my husband. This morning I came home to look after the cat and some business while my husband stayed with her. Tomorrow morning I'll go back. I don't know how long we will be in this holding pattern - our life at a standstill. We will have to take it a day at a time. The awkward thing is that the home where Mom lives is 45 minutes away through some of Vancouver's most horrendous traffic. We can't just pop back and forth.

Our time spent at this care facility with Mom is not unpleasant. Her room is comfortable and peaceful with a good chair for each of us. The workers are friendly and cheerful. They all know Mom well and sometimes pop in to tell her they love her, even if they're working in a different wing. And Mom has many friends and family members visiting. In the evening we're brought a tray with tea, coffee, juice and cookies - complete with a vase of flowers on it. This is a good place to die, much better than a hospital would be.

Friday is Living Room day, but I don't know if I'll be able to be there. I've organized everything so it will be taken care of and will take the lunch supplies to the church tomorrow morning before I head back. Such a good thing that we have a good bunch of co-facilitators! All will be well.


Cross-Stitch Resources said...

Hi Marja,

Greetings to you from Singapore! I came across your blog recently through an article I read on Canadian Christianity. I am also bipolar :-). I am in the midst of developing my blog to share with others about God's goodness and mercies. Is it ok for me to put your article from Canadian Christianity on my blog? I have also put a link to your blog at :

Glad to know your mom-in-law is better. May she continue to know the comfort and peace of God. Take care!

Kind regards,
Nancie Koo

sandy47 said...

Marja, what a blessing for your mom-in-law to be in such a caring place! I pray she will continue to do as well as possible during this time, and that the Lord will give you and your husband extra strength as you go back and forth to help and support her. You are such a giving, loving person and I appreciate how you are always encouraging others

marja said...

Hi Nancie and Sandy. Thank you both for your good wishes.

And welcome to my site, Nancie. It's good to meet you. I had a look at your blog and can see you are a kindred spirit. I'd be happy for you to post my articles from Canadian Christianity on your blog. There are several there, and you're welcome to use any of them.

Merelyme said...

just checking in to see you and...i am so glad things are not as bad as they seemed days ago. this is good news! thanks for letting us know how things are going.

Michelle-ozark crafter said...

I will be praying for you, your mom and all your family.

Anonymous Mom said...

what a relief to hear the doctor was wrong, wrong, wrong!

try to take some time to care for yourself, marja!

Cross-Stitch Resources said...

Hi Marja,

Thanks for your kind reply! Thanks for allowing me to post your articles on my blog. I believe they will be an encouragement to others. I have added you unto my links list as well so that others too can visit your blog and be helped by it. Keep up your good work!

I am thrilled to learn that you have written a book. I am praying too for the Lord's leadings on the possibility of writing a book eventually. In Singapore, there are very few books written by mental illness patients to share their experiences and resources. I hope what I am learning, as the Lord leads me, on managing my illness may benefit others through a book. I am still learning and know that this is a journey that I need to travel slowly with God's leadings. Will continue to pray and wait upon the Lord.

So good to know that you enjoy photography too! I have just started to enjoy photography through regular brisk walkings. I saw many beautiful flowers and I also enjoy going to the beach.

I have uploaded some photos unto my facebook profile:

I took these photo at East Coast Beach, Singapore:

These are taken at Changi Beach, Singapore:

These are taken during my brisk walks session and some plants by my mother:

These are also taken during my walks at another garden:

May God continue to guide and lead you as you seek to be a blessing to other!

Take care.

Kind regards,
Nancie Koo

Di said...

Marja - Praying for you as you are sitting and waiting.
THinking of you

Bipolar Wellness Writer said...

Glad to hear from you. What a difficult time. One day the doctors had called us to say that my mother was dying within hours because she wasn't expelling liquids and her kidneys had shut down; it turns out they put in the catheter incorrectly!

I hope that with all your stress, you're taking care of yourself. During the final months of my mother's illness, I used to play music for her because it was soothing to her and to me. I also brought my camera along and would spend an hour outside taking photographs--just to relax. I also took long walks near my mother's facility. I gave the nurse my cell phone number in case there was a change in mom's condition.

AS much as I wanted to be with her, I needed to take care of myself too.

Anyway, know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and Wes at this difficult time!


Anonymous said...

I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Love, South Carolina