Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Bedrock under my feet

Darn! I just saw my GP and there's nothing physically wrong with me. This excessive sleeping I've been doing is "all in my head" - due to depression. My sleeping pattern has been weird lately, symptomatic of depression. I wake up at four or five (six is normal for me) and don't go back to sleep - till the middle of the day, and then I feel like I want to nap all the time.

The sleeping, and the result - not accomplishing anything - is depressing. Or is it the other way around? Is it that I don't feel like doing anything, feel depressed, so escape by sleeping?

And yet I have some good times thrown in there as well. I'm really trying to line up things for myself to do, things that I might find stimulating. And yet it is too often hard to motivate myself.

I feel best when I'm around people. Had a wonderful time at church on Sunday. That morning set the tone for the rest of the day and my husband and I went for an outing, the kind of outing we used to take when we were younger. It was a good Father's Day for him.

A friend told me how wonderful Psalm 18 is, especially in The Message. When I went to it I was especially taken with the very first verse. I've had my Bible open to it ever since and look at it often. It encourages me to trust in God - to trust that He will give me a "firm place to stand."

"I love you, God - you make me strong. God is the bedrock under my feet."

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