My husband calls me insecure, and maybe I am. I get into states where I've simply got to talk to my friends. It's so hard not to, even though I've bothered them enough. Calling every day gets a bit much, don't you think?
But I've been having brief periods of down-ness. And when I'm down I don't want to withdraw, I just need to talk. My river has to flow.
So here I am again, needing my friends. I'm glad for this blog: a place to connect with people without bothering anyone who I shouldn't bother.
I'll be glad when today is over and I can sleep and wake to a new day. Tomorrow will be a busy one: Living Room day. I'm looking forward to it. Our discussion will be about the value of suffering. My pastor calls pain the gift no one wants, but one that is a gift nevertheless. Pain does so much to strengthen character. People who have suffered know a lot more about life than those who have it easy. I've never had it easy, yet I'm pretty sure that is the case.
Suffering is one of my favorite topics to read about. So much has been written about it and there's so much evidence that those who suffer and overcome have much to offer. Much has been written in the Bible about suffering. The Bible talks about knowing Christ and "the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings." I'm learning to share my pain with Christ. I'm learning to see my pain as his pain and his pain as my pain. I'm together with Jesus in my pain. I meet him in a very special way.
Interesting how so many Christians still think that good Christians should not suffer. They think that a Christian who suffers must have sinned or something. So many form their own ideas without reading the Bible with an open heart and mind. They overlook so much of scripture. They see only what they want to see.
Tomorrow may be an exciting day. It may be the day my article will be in the paper. I'm so curious to read what the columnist has said about me. Just hope it's positive, because I'm a pretty positive person and believe in hope. But the interview went so fast, I would have liked more time to express what I'm really all about. But he had fixed questions he wanted me to answer - didn't let me have my way with him the way I would have liked, though I tried....We'll see.
I could sit and talk on and on to you, because I am lonely with my thoughts. But I don't want this post to be so long that you won't want to read it, so I will close.
Thank you all for being out there my friends.
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2 comments:
Marja: two thoughts- wait, no three thoughts.
1.- Interesting how your topic is suffering: and its lent. I'm suffering through a loss of red meat of chocolate right now.
2. I love to talk to people when I'm down or have a lot on my mind- and most people really don't care to listen to a bipolar's depression or manic ramblings. So I write blog posts too- and its really about the only way to vent sometimes: especially with me- the mom and friends are not supportive. Its oddly easier to vent to other bipolars that I've never even met- but that I know can relate better than anyone else in my life.
And my third though: if you ever need someone to listen- because I'm not very good a giving advice: but if you need an ear to talk to- I'll always do it- but just be aware that you might be asked to return the favor.
Have a jolly one, hope everything goes with with the living room chat, and i hope that you get to feeling better,
Machelle
I don't think that you are insecure..wanting to talk to friends while in a funk..is not insecure to me.
I, too when I am down - want to talk to people and although I don't talk about what I am going through - I just need that interaction with others - even if it is just on the phone as when I am depressed, I don't get out much.
I think for me, I am needy to a degree, but aren't we all?
Taymachelle is right about the blogs and all...Keep writing!:)
Taymachelle - I gave up chocolate, too for lent.. I am losing my mind with no chocolate!!
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