I have always had trouble with Psalm 23. I can seldom relate to the part where David says that "He makes me lie down in green pastures". It just isn't me. I'm more likely to be one of those sheep that keeps chomping on the green grass, rather than allowing God to make me lie down in it. There's too much to do, too many interesting things I want to accomplish. It's not like me to do nothing - unless I'm depressed. And when I'm depressed those pastures are not very green. They're more like brown, dead grass. Not very pleasant.
But this morning was different. I woke at my usual 6:30 but didn't feel like getting up. I felt tired. I have been deep into my editing work, concentrating hard, doing little else. I was now paying for it.
Eventually I did get up, got my coffee, and went to my usual quiet time place, my big leather chair. There I sat doing nothing for a very long time, just sitting. Usually I read or pray or write. This time I just sat, dozing a bit now and then. And it felt so good. God had made me lie down in a green pasture.
I was somewhat worried though. This kind of sitting and mulling often signal the beginning of a depression, especially if I've been high for a while, which I might have been.
But in this relaxed time something neat happened. God floated down ideas to me for two things I've been having difficulty with: what to talk about at Living Room on Friday, and what to write for my final wrap-up of the book. These were both things that had been bothering me considerably. I started writing. And everything came together. That down time really paid off. What gifts!
So the rest of the day, though I still felt somewhat tired, I've been on a bit of a high - not a low at all. So where am I going now? Will the tiredness pull me down to the pasture with the dead grasses? Or will I be able to stay on the green? Is it in my hands at all to determine which way I will go? Can I avoid depression by doing the right things? If I have indeed been high (which I might very well have been) can I somehow arrange my activities so I will stay in that green pasture?
All I can do, I guess, is to live each day as it comes, trusting in God, letting him lead me. He is my shepherd.
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3 comments:
i hope you dont go on a downer sounds like you have bene doing some good stuff, but also remember to pace yourself "rome wasnt built in a day " ;) Although in saying that if we had, had our way it would have been ;)lol
I truly believe that there are times our body needs rest! And God was telling you to rest...even if it was just for a moment.
I, too get those moments, where I feel tired even after getting up only to sit there for an hour or so and do nothing, but yes, for me too, during that moment of rest...ideas and thoughts pile up adn then I get to work!
Rest is good for the soul!
You are right, He is your shepard! You are doing the smartest thing by taking one day at a time. That is a tough thing for all of us. Thanks again for calling me Marja, you are such a sweet soul. God bless you.
Love Shebee
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