Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Finding support

It's common knowledge how important it is to have a support system in place when you have a mood disorder. Actually, everyone alive needs some kind of support system. I spoke in my last post about how hard it can be to find people who will listen to us and support us when we're going through a depression. But we need people of all kinds - for all phases of our lives - if we're going to stay well.

What kind of support do I need? These are the ones I've come up with, though there may be more. They're not in any particular order.

1. I have a full life and a mind that overflows with ideas. I need people who will listen to me as I debrief. I am close to these people and call or email them often.
2. I need people who will listen to me when I'm in deep trouble - people who will comfort me and pray with me.
3. I need my husband, a partner who eats, works, and plays with me.
4. I need friends who have the same disorder as I do - people who understand me fully.
5. I need people to support, because that takes me out of the victim role and helps me feel good and strong. In the giving I receive.
6. I need friends who share my writing and photography interests.
7. I need friends to just have fun with - to have over for a barbecue or go out with.
8. I need family to do family things with.
9. I need a pastor and a counselor in whom I can confide.
10. I need a psychiatrist who respects me and looks after my medical needs, considerate of my opinion and desires.
11. I need woman friends to have discussions with about life - to give encouragement to and receive encouragement from.
12. I need fellow Living Room facilitators to discuss problems with.
13. I need to have a close relationship with God.
14. I need online friends who will read my blog and make comments.


12 comments:

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Marja,
Hopefully I qualify in more than one category, but the least I can be is someone who reads your blog and leaves comments.

I'm sorry I haven't been by here lately, because then I would have known about your depression, and sent good wishes your way!

Yes, it is very difficult when we feel depressed to reach out to others, but I believe that people who share this illness and care about us are always willing to listen.

I know I am! And I'll be praying for you!

With love,
Susan

L.S. Alves said...

Hello Marja.
Do you have some news about Jessica Ginn?

marja said...

Hi Susan,

My depression comes and goes, so it's not as bad as it could be. And please don't feel bad about not visiting. I haven't been too good about that myself lately.

Thank you for your prayers.

marja

marja said...

L.S. Alves: No, I haven't heard from Jessica in a very long while. Wonder how she is? Such a neat person.

- marja

Brenda said...

I read your blog faithfully, Marja. You are my inspiration. I am so built up by your faithful plugging along and positive spirit. You don't seem to fold up like a tent like I do when things get bad. Thanks for reminding us that we readers who receive such encouragement need to give back......even when we don't feel like it.

More Than Conquerors said...

Dear Marja,

I too find that it is important to have a support system in place when we have a mood disorder. I am thankful to God for providing you all the supports you need in many wonderful ways. I am thankful too to God for the supports He has provided for me.

It is indeed not easy to find people who will listen to us and support us when we are going through a depression. Many have never been through such an experience and find it hard to support us. I am thankful that we can pray and mutually encourage one another through our blogs. I have not been able to blog and visit much but you are in my thoughts and prayers always. Take care!

Hugs,
Nancie

marja said...

Hi Brenda,

I think what really helps me is to have a purpose bigger than me - something so very important that I want to give it my all. Getting rid of stigma and helping others who suffer as I do are what I live for. Those are things God has put in my heart to do.

But I too have moments, as do most with bipolar. There have been many times that I just wanted to give up. I have had to give my husband my sleeping pills for safekeeping. In fact, he has them now.

I thank God for giving me work to do that helps me to want to survive. And it all comes from wanting to share his love. It's simply the love he has for me that I want to turn around and share with others.

It comes from a simple prayer. "Please, God, fill me with your love and help me share it with others."

And yet, in spite of that, I so often become self-centered and forget.

Love, marja

marja said...

Hugs from me too, Nancie, my good and faithful friend. And many prayers. May God strengthen you. May you feel His love surrounding you.
Love, marja

Wendy Love said...

Marja,
I appreciate your list of needs and it makes me think of my own. I think I must make a list too! I am praying for you!
Wendy

marja said...

Hi Wendy,

Before I made up this list I thought of the people I really needed to lean on as my supports. But really we do need a whole range of people in our support system, don't we?

marja

Mariposa said...

I'm in and out of here but I'd love to be there for you and for the community we have/share here when I'm needed and when I can.

Sending you huge HUGS!

marja said...

A big hug for you too, Mariposa. Thank you for your support. So good to know people are out there who care.

Love, marja