This blog is about living with bipolar disorder and about how my Christian faith has helped me cope and develop a life that is full and satisfying. It deals with some of the frustrations and anger I feel about the injustice and damaging effect of stigma.
I'm so delighted about what happened on Sunday May 12th. Two churches featured people speaking about their mental health problems.
Please do take some time to listen:
At Emmanuel Baptist Church in Victoria, some
members of Living Room shared their journeys of faith and mental illness. Pastor
Joan Dosso brought a meditation on transformation from woundedness and
stigmatization to finding our identity as God’s Beloved. To listen to the
podcast, go here.
On that same day, Anessa Simpson from Brentwood
Park Alliance Church in Burnaby shared the story about her journey with
depression and anxiety. You can listen to her story as well, at this link
So good to know that churches are gradually
becoming safe places to talk openly about our mental health
problems.
I hope this news makes you as happy as it made me.
I hope you will be inspired by these courageous individuals.
A reminder: If you'd like to receive the Reflections on Scripture that I send out every Monday, please go to the Homepage of the Living Room website and sign up. You can unsubscribe at any time.
God can do anything,
you know - far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your
wildest dreams!
He does it not by pushing us around but
working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.
Ephesians 3:20-21 (MSG)
That is so very true!
When I was young I was afraid to speak up in class or to
other people. Being a leader of Living Room support ministries was the furthest
thing from my mind, but that's what God made me.
When I think of what my life used to be like, I marvel at how it has
changed. As a teen I had social anxiety disorder and depression. At the age of
nineteen I spent nine months at Riverview, a major mental hospital in British
Columbia. This was followed by a lifetime of struggles with psychosis,
depression and mania.
At the age of forty I decided I could no longer live on my
own strength but needed God! I gave up my need for control and surrendered my
life to Him. I soon learned what it was to receive divine love. My life became
more meaningful. Although I wasn't cured of my disorder, I found a measure of healing. I grew.
I never dreamed that I would become an activist, trying to
erase the stigma attached to mental illness. God's spirit worked within me,
giving me the courage to respond to His invitation to join Him in the work He
was - and still is - doing in the world. He led me from
project to project, one step at a time. I never knew where He was taking me or
how long the journey would be. That's how God operates. He doesn't let you see
the big picture ahead of time. The important thing is to trust and
follow.
God helped me create church-based Living Room support
groups, places where people with mood disorders can talk openly about their
faith and their mental health problems. Before Living Room it was seldom
possible for people to safely talk about these two things together- not in the secular world nor in the Christian world.
I've struggled with bipolar disorder
for 48 years now, unable to hold a paying job. In spite of that, I have
been able to work for God - not doing anything wonderful on my own, but simply
being His foot soldier. I went where He led, speaking and writing the words He
gave me. Amazing what can be accomplished when we decide that the work is not
our own, but God's. Such a wonderful world He opens up for us - a life that's
beyond what we could ask for or imagine.
It's a privilege to be doing this work, including sending
you these emails. I feel blessed to be able to serve God in this
way.
May God bless you too as you follow Him on your journey -
step by step, day by day.
PS: This is a recent email I sent to the people on my list - one of my Reflections on Scripture. If you would like to start receiving these, mailed out every Monday, go to the Homepage of the Living Room website to sign up. You can unsubscribe at any time.
Have you ever felt really bad
about something you've done or the way you've behaved? It happens to everyone at
times. But when our moods aren't stable, we are especially susceptible to
feelings of guilt. Sometimes well-founded; sometimes - when we're thinking
irrationally - not so. We are often
"brokenhearted."
I've found that praying Psalm 51
offers great comfort when I'm hurting. David wrote it after he realized how
wrong he'd been to have committed adultery with Bathsheba and to have her
husband killed. David tells God that he has a "contrite [or repentant] heart,"
having a desire for forgiveness, a desire to change and become the kind of
person God wants him to be. When I read David's words over and over, I too am
able to express my deep regret and pain. I draw closer to God as
well.
Good things come from humbly
going to God with a broken and repentant heart. Scripture has shown how it can
help make us into people God is able to use. There's David, for example, as
portrayed in Psalm 51: Although great sin had led David to write this prayer, he
became a person the Bible referred to as "a man after God's own heart." And then
there's the apostle Peter in the New Testament: After he
denied knowing Jesus three times before His crucifixion, Luke 22:61-62 reports
how he "went outside and wept bitterly." The agony he must have suffered,
realizing how he had turned his back on his Lord! He, too, had a broken heart.
It was a heart that was ready to change, ready to obey God. The rest of Peter's
story shows him to be a transformed man - a humble, but bold and dynamic
speaker. He became a man who gave his all to
Jesus.
If David and Peter were brought
closer to God in their brokenness, able to be used by Him, could we not as well?
marja
PS: Glenda de Vries, the
co-facilitator of the Living Room group at Rouge Valley Mennonite Church in
Markham, Ontario, had an article published in the Christian Courier last week.
The title of the piece: GOD LOVES THE BROKENHEARTED. You can access it
by going to http://www.christiancourier.ca/features.php.
Congratulations Glenda, and thank you for helping raise much-needed awareness.
We're proud of you.
(If you would like to receive reflections on Scripture like this one - written with people with mental health problems in mind - go to the Living Room website and subscribe on the homepage.)
A woman
in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the
Pharisee's house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she
stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears.
Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them. Luke 7:37-38
Where did that weeping
come from? I don't think it was simply sadness or joy. I think I can relate. Can
you relate as well?
Her weeping reminds me of
how I cried in church when I had just started following Jesus. Many times tears
would flow inexplicably during the singing of the hymns. I could not hold them
back. I was like a child who had been separated from her mother far too long and
was newly returned to her. My tears released my pent-up
emotions - relieving the stress of trying to do life on my own. Not knowing the
love of Christ had been harder on me than I had realized. I was embarrassed to
break down like this in church, yet it felt good to let it all out. The tears
cleansed my soul.
How this woman must have
loved Jesus! Other people, like the Pharisee, treated her with disdain. But
Jesus saw her as a person He could accept and love, in spite of her sins. What a
relief it must have been for her.
I've heard from many
people who have such emotions surface during worship...not only new believers.
Tears in church are not uncommon at all. But imagine if we could have the
physical presence of Jesus right there with us. Imagine if we could, like that
woman, kneel at His feet when the tears come rolling down.
...Maybe we could do the
next best thing. Next time we feel the tears surfacing, we could close our eyes
and picture Jesus with us. We too could worship at His feet, knowing that we
don't have to struggle on our own. We too are loved. We too are
forgiven.
(If you would like to receive reflections on scripture similar to this, written with people with mood disorders in mind, go to www.livingroomsupport.org to subscribe.)
When Jesus appeared to the disciples after His
resurrection, "...he opened their minds so they could
understand the Scriptures. He told them, 'This is what is written: The Christ
will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and
forgiveness of sins will be preached in His name to all nations...'"(Luke 24:45-47)
Preaching "repentance and forgiveness" - that is indeed
what has happened ever since Jesus died and rose again.
I've been reading about the Easter story and am thinking
more about what happened after, the resurrection that we celebrated yesterday.
What a wonderful story it is!
The world has changed so much since then. The most common
way of living before Jesus's ministry was one of pride and retaliation. Jesus's
dying and rising ushered in a new way of living for those who followed Him. It
ushered in God's reign - God's way - the kingdom of God (or kingdom of heaven as
some parts of the Bible call it). The way of love and reconciliation and healing
and hope has been preached ever since.
In the Lord's Prayer, Jesus taught us to pray "...your
kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven." (Matthew
6:10) God's will is being done on earth today. Don't you see pockets of
heaven all around you? I know, there's a lot of pain and struggle and ugliness.
But there are also little pockets of heaven in our community and - indeed - the
whole world. People are helping the poor and the sick. They are working to
protect the environment. We can all help to make such pockets of heaven happen.
We can help build God's kingdom - little by little, each of us in our own way,
as we are led by God.
I can see God's kingdom happening for people living with
mental illnesses, at least in part. Although there is still a lot of stigma
attached to mental illness, as there is for a lot of other things, there
has been improvement. When my book Riding the Roller Coaster
was published, there were few people with mental health issues telling
their story. Today there are many books out by those who live with mental
illness. More positive stories are being covered in newspapers and magazines and
on TV. And look at the Living Room ministry. That is definitely a kingdom
builder. Can't you see how God's reign is getting stronger all the
time?
Today I'm looking out on a sunny day. So happy for it,
because in our part of the world we haven't had much sun this year. Our garden
isn't looking too great yet. There's a lot of cleaning up to do after the
winter. But we have two or three pockets of heaven happening here: We have
daffodils - my favourite colour - yellow. I experience God when I thank Him for
them. I worship God when I photograph them.
I pray you will find many pockets of heaven in your life,
in your work and play...and in your neighbourhood.
Happy Easter!...Jesus Christ has risen! God's kingdom has
come.
Amazing what God will help us see and hear and think and
feel when we spend quiet time with Him! How good it is to simplify things for
awhile in the midst of our busy and oft messy lives. This is why so many of us like to spend the early part of the morning
quietly reading God's word and praying. Such a rich experience it can be. It helps get the day off to a good start.
The sun is shining this Sunday morning - a truly wonderful
thing, since we've had so much rain in Vancouver lately. Seeing the bright
sky reminds me of the precious times I've spent on the patio in the early
mornings during springs and summers of the past. One morning particularly stands
out in my mind:
I was comfortably settled in my muskoka chair with my
Bible, my journal, and my camera. I didn't always have my camera there with me,
but the day before I had been delighted by a flock of small birds flitting
amongst the stems of the tall daisies that bordered the patio. I hoped to get
some pictures of them. Unfortunately, they didn't come back. But God did show me
some other things.
As the sun started peeking over the tall row of cedars
bordering our yard, I focused my camera on it. Shooting into the sun can do
interesting things. So I played, including the daisies in the pictures and then
bringing in the fuschias hanging nearby. Gradually I did the unusual, holding
the camera at an angle as I shot. It was an exciting process. You know, when I'm
creative and play like that - as a child might - not judging, not having
preconceived ideas of what I want to achieve, I believe God has a hand in what
happens. He shows me things I might have missed if I hadn't been so open - if I
had gone my own way. This was my time with Him and He led me to see things in a
way I hadn't seen them before.
I look forward to warmer weather, time to once more get
out on the patio early in the morning. Thank God for all He has to show us - in
our reading, in our seeing, in our thinking and feeling. We just have to stay
open to Him, don't we?... holding our hands out to receive what He will give us
each morning.
I pray for sunny days for all of us - not only outside,
but within our hearts as well.
(I am now sending reflections like this to people by email. If you haven't got access to a Living Room group, this might be another option. To get on my list, go to www.livingroomsupport.org and sign up. You can unsubscribe at any time.)
"You come against me with sword and spear and javelin,
but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies
of Israel, whom you have defied."
David in 1 Samuel 17:45
I recall vividly how I felt one day several
years ago. I felt like a very small person trying to do something that was far
beyond her. I wanted to reduce the stigma towards mental illness, especially the
misunderstanding and poor support that exists in the church.
I felt like David facing Goliath. The
difference was, that although David was probably not a fully grown man, he was
confident. I wasn't confident at all. My Goliath looked like one huge messy
mass. David aimed for the giant's forehead, but I couldn't see the face nor the
arms or legs. How could I possibly attack when I had no place to
aim?
David inspired me.
Through David, God reminded me that He
has the strength and the power to fight such wars. With Him, all things are
possible. (Matthew 19:26) Fighting stigma and working for the good of people
living with mental illness is God's work - not mine alone. All I have to do is
to be God's foot-soldier, to go where He leads, and say the words He gives me to
say. Looking at it that way gave me courage and strength. When I remember that
God is in charge, I can do the work. He helps me devise plans and helps
me know what to aim for.
We all have Goliaths in our lives; we have many
different kinds of challenges. It could be coping with illness or learning to
cope with a difficult job. It could be building a stronger marriage or helping
make our community a better place.
If we could only trust God to help us deal with
our Goliaths, as David did... It might take time; we will probably have to be
patient. And God could have plans for us that differ from our own. I know from
experience though, that we can trust Him to know best. Trusting Him and being
prepared to join Him in the work can leave us pleasantly surprised with the
outcome -to say nothing of the process.
I haven't always trusted God, too often trying
to work under my own strength, frustrated - even suffering - as a result. But in
the end, I do know He has taken the Living Room support ministry to places that
have surprised me. The email ministry is one of them. My job is to follow God,
one little step at a time. It's a wonderful mystery tour own which only He knows
where we are going.
May God bless you richly and may He take you on
an amazing mystery tour of your own as you slay your Goliaths.
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Let the light of your face shine on us. Fill my
heart with joy… Psalm
4:6-7
I’'ve spent some delightful times on spring days, lying
with my camera in the middle of a field of buttercups. The shiny gold blooms,
growing in a park not far from my home, were a joy to behold. The stems were
tall enough so I could lie underneath them, shooting up from below, using the
blue sky as a backdrop. Dancing around on their lanky stems, the cheerful
blossoms reminded me of the innocent, open spirit of children.
Quoting Charles Spurgeon again: (such a great preacher he
was, and a gifted writer). In Morning and Evening he writes:
“ "The Christian should be like those lovely spring flowers
which, when the sun is shining, open their golden cups, as if saying, ‘'Fill us
with thy beams!’' but when the sun is hidden behind a cloud, they close their
cups and droop their heads. So should the Christian feel the sweet influence of
Jesus; Jesus must be his sun, and he must be the flower which yields itself to
the Sun of Righteousness."”
I’'m looking forward to more of the clear days we had on
Sunday and Monday here in Vancouver, so I can lift my face up to the sun and say “"fill me with
your beams."” And I will experience the joy that a thankful heart can
bring.
But, even if the sun isn'’t shining on us, God’s light
will shine on us when we open ourselves up to Him.
May God bless you all with His beams.
(Would you like to receive my reflections by email? If so, go to www.livingroomsupport.org and sign up on the Homepage. I send out emails twice a week and you can unsubscribe at any time.)
People brought babies to Jesus, hoping he might
touch them. When the disciples saw it, they shooed them off. Jesus called them
back. Let these children alone. Don't get between them and me. These children
are the kingdom's pride and joy. Mark this: Unless you accept God's kingdom in
the simplicity of a child, you'll never get in.” Luke 18:15-17 (The
Message)
I've often tried to put my finger on what it is exactly that
Jesus saw in the children. What childlike qualities does he want us to emulate
so that we, too, can enter His kingdom? I believe God is asking us: "Will you be
a child for me?"”
I have loved photographing children for many years.
Children five and under are my favourites. That's when they can still express
themselves freely. Young children are open and real. How precious that is to
witness!
When they're exploring new things, children can get totally
caught up with - in awe of - what they see around them. Everything else -
everything that might distract from the moment -– fades away. Wouldn't it be
nice if we could all live like that? To forget our troubles and find time to
give our attention to God's handiwork. I want to be like the child in this
picture, openly receiving what God gives me, lost in the wonder of it.
Wouldn't it be beautiful if we were able to keep the curiosity we had
as children? If we were able to be so easily delighted and excited about our
discoveries?
I photographed this little girl many years ago -
enraptured by the things she was discovering in this wooded campground. If we
could only keep this attitude towards the things God has created! I think God
wants us to.
God asks, "Will you be a child for me?"
Would you like to receive sciptures and reflections like this to your inbox? It's the closest to a Living Room support group we can get online. Go to www.livingroomsupport.org to subscribe.
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.
Psalm 46:1-3
At the last Living Room meeting in Burnaby, someone mentioned the remarkable story of Horatio Spafford, the person who wrote the words to the well-known hymn, It is Well with my Soul. My friend told us how much that hymn has meant to her when she faced hard times. How she would quietly sing it to herself and get encouragement from it.
Spafford wrote this hymn during a time of traumatic losses in his life. The first was the death of his only son in 1871 at the age of four, shortly followed by the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially. His business interests were further hit by the economic downturn of 1873 at which time he had planned to travel to Europe with his family. In a late change of plans, he sent the family ahead while he was delayed with business problems. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with another vessel and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone . . .".
Shortly after all these tragic events, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died. The words were later put to music by Philip Bliss. Through this song, Spafford and Bliss have given hope to thousands.
When peace like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, It is well, it is well with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul!
It is well ... with my soul! It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Oh, if I could only get such comfort from my faith! I hope this story and this song will inspire you as it has inspired me. The song is readily available on Youtube. My favourite version is here.
May God bless you and keep you, no matter what you might be facing.
marja
If you would like to receive inspirational messages and reflections like this to your inbox, go to http://www.livingroomsupport.org/ There's a form on the homepage where you can subscribe.
Through the prophet Ezekiel, in chapter 34, verses
26 - 27 of his book, God said,
26 I will bless
them and the places surrounding my hill. I will send down showers in season;
there will be showers of blessing.27 The trees of the field will yield their fruit
and the ground will yield its crops;
the people will be secure
in their land. They will know that I am the Lord, when I break the
bars of their yoke
and rescue them from the hands of those who enslaved
them.
I believe that when God speaks to one person or
group of people He is speaking to all of us. He is speaking to you and to me and
whoever hears His word.
Don't you just love the words: "there will be
showers of blessing?" It reminds me of spring showers that bring forth
fresh green grass, new leaves on the trees, and flowers - all ready for the
sunshine of a new season to bathe them with its warmth - gifts - blessings from
our loving Father in heaven.
I've just started following Charles Spurgeon's
devotional, Morning and Evening. Such riches his writings are! You may
hear me quote him quite often. Spurgeon asks, "What is thy season this morning? Is
it the season of drought? Then that is the season for showers. Is it a season of
great heaviness and black clouds? Then that is the season for
showers."
God will send showers. Not depressing ones,
but "showers of blessings."
Says Spurgeon: "Look up today, O parched plant, and
open thy leaves and flowers for a heavenly watering."
I'm sharing a picture I took some years ago of
a wild rose, looking clean after a spring shower. Can't you just smell the sweet
aroma?
(If you want to receive messages like this one to your inbox on Mondays and Thursdays, I'd be happy to have you on my list. Go to the homepage of www.livingroomsupport.org and leave your email address. You can unsubscribe at any time.)
Years ago I saw this scene of a mother and her child. I could relate so I photographed it. It reminded me very much of the child I used to be - and the child I still am at times.
I was
really taken by something Ravi Zacharias said in his book, Recapture the Wonder. He wrote, “Like a child who suddenly stops
sobbing when he is clasped in the arms of his mother, such will be the grip of
heaven upon our souls.” Is this so very meaningful to me because I’ve lived
with so much depression? It must be, though I’m sure many will remember that
feeling of being comforted, whether it be as a child or adult.
Zacharias
talks about heaven, but I don’t believe heaven is only a place we go to when we
die. I believe it’s available to us now. Heaven is possible wherever God’s kingdom
reigns, wherever His will is done.
Jesus Himself taught us to pray:
“Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on
earth as it is in heaven.” (Matthew 6:9-10)
When
we feel the love of God, isn’t it a bit like being clasped once more in our
mother’s arms? Every time I am reminded of His love, especially at those times
I’m having trouble emotionally, it’s as though I experience a little piece of
heaven. There are many things that help me feel that. Scripture like Isaiah
40:10-11 for example.
See, the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and his arm rules for him. See, his reward is with him,
and his recompense accompanies him.
He
tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.
He carries us close to his heart.
(If you live with a mood disorder and would like inspirational messages like this to come to your inbox, go to www.livingroomsupport.org and fill out the form. You may unsubscribe at any time.)
I received a note for you from Alison, "Wishing
GOD'S strength in everyone's journey." She quoted from 2 Corinthians 12:9 where
Paul said, "But he said to
me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made
perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my
weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
Strange thing about that verse, I so often have
trouble getting my head around it, trying to sort out exactly what it means.
Sometimes I get it, and then, other times, I don't.
But we need to understand that
verse, because we all deal with weaknesses, don't we? Some of us in a very bad
way. We suffer.
In an adaptation from Charles Spurgeon's devotional
Morning and Evening, he is quoted saying "Take courage, for there must
be a consciousness of weakness before the Lord will give you victory." It's when
we feel weak that we most have to rely on God's strength to uphold us. It's then
that we most need to trust God, and that is good. The opposite would be to feel
that we have strength and have no need for God.
Quoting something I found by Dane Ortlund: "The
pattern in God’s work on earth is to channel his power through human weakness.
God does not skim off the top ten percent— - the most gifted, the most
articulate, the smartest, the best educated - —for significance in the
kingdom."
"He picks the screw-ups. The nobodies. He picks
people like you and me." Think of the many "weak"
people in the Bible who God picked to do great things: Jacob, rather than Esau,
young David rather than his more impressive brothers, Jeremiah, young and timid,
chosen to be God's mouthpiece. "Human weakness is
not a problem for God. It is the great prerequisite. It is where God locates His
power."
And how do we find God's strength? Stay connected.
Talk to Him. Ask Him for the help you need with this day. But it's something we so often forget to do, isn't it? If only we could do that daily!
Wishing you all a blessed day.
marja
The above is a copy of an email I sent today to people who would like to be part of a Living Room group but aren't able to access one. If you'd like to receive such emails into your inbox, you can send your email address to me from the Living Room homepage at www.livingroomsupport.org
This week I was alerted to a wonderful service for
children and teens - anyone under 20. It offers confidential phone counselling
for those who need to talk but don't otherwise have anyone to talk to. Their
website, http://kidshelpphone.ca/Teens/Home.aspx has
a lot of information as well. Their phone number is 1-800-668-6868.
Copying from their website:
What is Kids Help Phone?
Phone counselling
Web counselling
For ages 20 & under
Free, 24/7
Anonymous & Confidential
Non-judgemental
The KHP Promise
Anonymous means you don't have to tell us who you
are. Confidential means whatever you tell us is safe.
If you know of a young person in trouble, please do
let them know about this.
How long it has been since I last posted! I'm sorry. I guess my focus has changed to more directly helping people who live with mood disorders. Actually, that has been happening for a long time - through Living Room and other kinds of writings.
I've very recently started sending emails to people who have looked for support through Living Room. Yet there are unfortunately not nearly enough groups to serve everyone. So I'm now sending messages via email to those people - an online Living Room of sorts.
If you'd like to receive these messages, send your email address to me at marja@livingroomsupport.org and I will put you on my list.
Here is my latest sharing:
Charles Haddon (C.H.) Spurgeon (19 June 1834 – 31
January 1892) was a British Particular Baptist preacher. Spurgeon remains highly
influential among Christians of different denominations, among whom he is known
as the "Prince of Preachers". He was a strong figure in the Reformed Baptist
tradition, defending the Church in agreement with the 1689 London Baptist
Confession of Faith understanding, and opposing the liberal and pragmatic
theological tendencies in the Church of his day. In his lifetime, Spurgeon
preached to around 10,000,000 people,often up to 10 times each week
at different places.
Spurgeon suffered from depression and left behind writings about it that
should comfort any Christian who longs to be understood by other Christians.
If you don't have time to read it all, or find the old English hard to get
along with, here is a quick idea of what he talked about:
“I know that wise brethren say, ‘You should not give way to feelings of
depression.’ If those who blame quite so furiously could once know what
depression is, they would think it cruel to scatter blame where comfort is
needed. There are experiences of the children of God which are full of spiritual
darkness; and I am almost persuaded that those of God’s servants who have been
most highly favoured have, nevertheless, suffered more times of darkness than
others.
“The covenant is never known to Abraham so well as when a horror of great
darkness comes over him, and then he sees the shining lamp moving between the
pieces of the sacrifice. A greater than Abraham was early led of the Spirit into
the wilderness, and yet again ere He closed His life He was sorrowful and very
heavy in the garden.
“No sin is necessarily connected with sorrow of heart, for Jesus Christ our
Lord once said, ‘My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death.’ There was no
sin in Him, and consequently none in His deep depression.
“I would, therefore, try to cheer any brother who is sad, for his sadness is
not necessarily blameworthy. If his downcast spirit arises from unbelief, let
him flog himself, and cry to God to be delivered from it; but if the soul is
sighing–’though he slay me, yet will I trust in him ’–its being slain is not a
fault.
“The way of sorrow is not the way of sin, but a hallowed road sanctified by
the prayers of myriads of pilgrims now with God–pilgrims who, passing through
the valley of Baca [lit: of weeping], made it a well, the rain also filled the
pools: of such it is written: ‘They go from strength to strength, every one of
them in Zion appeareth before God.’ –Charles Haddon Spurgeon: Metropolitan
Tabernacle Pulpit, 1881, vol. 27, p. 1595
I hope you find comfort in these words - the kind of comfort you need to
receive from a fellow Christian.
I've been learning breathing techniques at my CBT group and thought I would share.
When we’re
anxious we usually take very shallow breaths, cutting down on the oxygen level
in our brain. This lack of oxygen will make you feel out of control, not able
to solve the problems you might be facing. Breathing deeply will calm your
brain and help you feel more relaxed.
When you
feel anxiety coming on, change your breathing. Take a deep breath through your
nose, hold it, and then let it go out through your mouth.
When you
breathe in, you’re gathering strength. When you breathe out, you will relax.
In my CBT
class we learned to use coping statements while we do this breathing.
We repeat the same statement whenever we need to do our breathing. When we get
tired of one statement, we try another one.
The following are some coping statements:
I
can ride this through - I don't need to let this get to me
I
have survived this before and I can survive this time, too.
I
will use my coping skills and allow this to pass.
Anxiety
will not hurt me, even if it does not feel good.
But I’ve found something that works even better….much
better. By making my coping statement a Bible verse or part of a verse, I
encourage myself – not only psychologically – but spiritually. I’m turning to
God, trusting Him to help me get over my fears. In the process I draw closer to
Him. Every time I breathe and repeat a coping verse to myself, I’m practising
His presence.
BIBLICAL COPING STATEMENTS
You will want to find your own favourite verses to use, but
here are a few to get you started:
·The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me
lie down in green pastures, (Psalm 23:1-2)
·The
LORD your God is withyou, hewillquietyouwithhislove. (Zephaniah 3:17)
·The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. (Psalm 18:2)
·Castallyour anxiety on him because he cares for you. (1Peter 5:7)
·“Be
still, and know that I am God;” (Psalm 46:10)
·Do not be anxious about anything,
but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your
requests to God.(Philippians 4:6)
·I can do everything through him who
gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)
·Remain in me, and I will remain in you. (John 15:4)
I don't usually use this blog as a bulletin board, but feel I'd like to try it out as such, just for a couple of brief items. Eventually the Living Room website will have information like this, but it will take time.
I received an email a while ago from someone in Calgary, Alberta, who would like to start a group if she could find someone likeminded to work with her. Are you in Calgary?
We have also had lots of requests from people in Surrey, British Columbia, needing a group. Is there anyone out there who would consider starting a group there?
How about you? Are you interested in starting a group in your community? There's a huge need.
Living Room offers a safe place in a Christian setting for
people with depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorders to meet and find
out they're not alone. It is a community of people who want to make God
part of their lives and a source of healing, while recognizing the
medical basis for their disorder.
I discovered an amazing thing today. A good lesson to learn.
I've been feeling a lot of sadness lately because of some things I'm dealing with. Some of this sadness brings with it anxiety and fear. Fortunately I was able to get into an anxiety therapy group.
This morning I was waiting for the group to begin, talking to a lady sitting next to me. The things we were discussing made her cry (I didn't hurt her, honest). I myself had been feeling like crying all morning too. I stroked her back in an effort to comfort her. And you know, as I comforted her, I felt myself being comforted at the same time.
Truly amazing to think that we can help ourselves in this way.
I've so often "preached" how you can help your depression by thinking of others. And here, this proved it.
I struggle every once in a while with an anxiety that I know stems from my childhood. When a friend I rely on for support has to go away I often panic. "What am I going to do without her?" This problem is not nearly as bad as it was. It seems to crop up most when I'm going through a period of depression.
This is a fear of abandonment, a terrible feeling that make me feel like a child all over again. I know this is the result of having to leave home often before the age of ten. I was frequently sick and in hospital. In the mid-forties and fifties parents were not allowed to visit, except for brief periods now and then. Being a shy and anxious child these were hard times for me. I was also frequently sent away to stay with someone when my mother was sick. And I clearly remember, when I was seven, eight, and nine years old, being sent away to a health colony for six weeks at a time. Parents were only allowed to visit once, half-way through our time there. It's only in the past few years that I have recognized how traumatic my childhood actually was and how it's affecting me today, at sixty-six.
Yesterday I was feeling that anxiety and I wondered: should I feel compassion for the little child that was still inside me, or would that be feeling sorry for myself? And should I then be forgiving myself for feeling that way? But I didn't do anything wrong, did I?
A friend who also suffered during childhood and is having trouble with her mental health because of it, told me, "No. It's fine to feel compassion for yourself. It doesn't mean you're necessarily feeling sorry for yourself at all. It only means that you should be kind and gentle with yourself." Thinking of it that way comforts me. We need to comfort ourselves, don't we? We need to allow God to comfort us.
And as my thoughts progressed yesterday, I realized that I have compassion for people at Living Room who struggle with anxiety. I can see that the things I'm going through right now are going to help me better understand their pain. And when I have compassion for others, am I not indirectly having compassion for myself as well?
I'm thinking of Jesus now and how He loves us. He has compassion for us, doesn't He? He loves the part of us that still hurts like a little child and He will comfort that child.
Trusting God in this way will go a long way to healing our anxiety.
I recently finished reading Rethinking Madness:
Towards a Paradigm Shift in Our Understanding and Treatment of Psychosis
(Sky’s
Edge Publishing, 2012), a book that speaks about the cause and treatment of
psychosis,
mostly in people with schizophrenia. Author and psychologist Paris Williams, Ph.D, claims that, with the right support, full recovery
from
this disease is possible and even common.
This book's views are out of the box, promising to be controversial amongst many,
especially the psychiatric establishment. In fact, it is anti-psychiatry.
As you read this, please realize these are not my views, but the conclusions of the author. Never discontinue taking medications without consulting your doctor.
Williams’ research led him to believe that psychosis is not
a brain disease as has been thought. Rather, he came to see it as a natural
process “initiated by the psyche and…closely associated with a profound
reorganization of one’s understanding and experience of the world and of
oneself – one’s personal paradigm, in other words.” (Page 132)
The author tells us that there is abundant hope for
recovery, a view not supported by the medical establishment. Psychiatry has
always claimed that schizophrenia is a chronic disorder that requires life-long
treatment with antipsychotic medication. Yet Williams says that long-term use
of these medications do not help. The person with psychosis needs a chance to
work through things in order to recover. Antipsychotics, when used in the
long-term, actually hinder this recovery process.
This book had two effects on me:
As a piece of work that challenges the status quo of
psychiatric medicine it excites me. It offers hope where psychiatry says there
is no hope. I like revolutionary approaches, especially when tired
old approaches haven’t worked. A fresh look at things, whether in medicine,
science, or religion, can be healthy. And, in this case, it would be good if we could use fewer psychiatric drugs. Side
effects are often worse than the benefits.
But the book also instils fear in me:
There could be a serious danger if
people who
are on medications were to read this book and, as a result of what they read, decide to suddenly stop
taking them. The results could be tragic.
Have I been wrong all these years when I’ve
encouraged people to listen to their psychiatrist and take their meds?
Should the wisdom of our psychiatrists be
questioned more?
Are some of our mental illnesses not biochemical
in nature after all? And what does that mean to our treatment?
Is the very posting of this review on my blog going
to have an adverse effect on people who might not be wise about how they manage
their medication? Would they stop trusting their psychiatrist’s care? (I know
how important it is to trust the person who is treating you.)
On the other hand, would suppressing this information, information which could lead to radical change for sufferers, be irresponsible?
Yes, I need to let you know about this book.
Having lived with psychosis in the past, I appreciate
Williams’ description of it, especially through the accounts of the six
research subjects he features. I could identify with some of them and their
stories helped me see what might have caused my own breaks with reality. I can
also see why I have recovered from psychosis, though I continue to
struggle off and on with moodswings.
Not having been educated in this field, I found the author’s
more technical descriptions of the source of psychosis a bit beyond me, but
that didn’t take away from the book's usefulness.
I would very much recommend this book, especially to
open-minded and free-thinking doctors. Why not give a copy to your psychiatrist?
As a person with bipolar disorder and a faith in Jesus Christ, I write about mental health issues, esp encouraging a more understanding view by the Christian church. In an effort to help my church give support to people with mood disorders, I started a support group called "Living Room." Now groups are starting up elsewhere. I'm in my mid-sixties and feel I have a lot to share - the fruits of a "long" life - and I love doing that.
