Blessings

Although I trust God and have a deep faith, the reasoning part of me still often finds it hard to believe that prayer actually works. I know that is something I should - as a Christian - be ashamed to admit. But in all honesty - and I do like to be honest - I'm a bit of a doubting Thomas where prayer is concerned. Yes, I pray, but I know I would pray a lot more if I believed more in its power.

However, I'm sure the prayers of my friends is helping to see me through the dark times I've been facing lately. I feel it.

I've had some black times recently. On Thursday I didn't know what to do with myself, everything was so dark. I called my pastor's wife and talked with her a bit. She prayed for me. After we hung up I felt better. Yesterday a good friend promised to pray for my blackness to turn to light. She wrote some words of encouragement in her email to me. I was tremendously comforted and today feel a wonderful sense of peace. I sense God's love deeply and all I want to do now is to pass on this love to others. I feel a quietness - a holy joy - gratitude.

I guess it's a bit early to say whether my depression has cleared up. This has been a strange period of deep depression, interspersed with normal times. Don't know if this has ever happened before to me. I know I've done all I personally can to hold this beast at bay. I've searched out friends, I've gone to God, I've exercised, I'm taking prozac. Is this what happens when a person employs good coping strategies? Is this what happens when friends pray?

All I can say about this right now is "Thank you, dear friends! Thank you, God!"