Thursday, September 03, 2009

Poor Mom


My poor 95-year-old mom called tonight from her nursing home, very upset about the care she is receiving. She complained about being treated as a child, with disrespect. She is incontinent and needs to be helped with washing up. What that does to her sense of dignity!

Mom was moved to the floor she's on right now because she had been fighting with other residents. She has a very bad temper. And, as they always say, when you get older you become even more of what you were before. She had been hitting people and even ramming them with her walker. She gets SO angry.

Now, just from hearing her talk tonight, I feel she has probably been fighting with her nursing staff. Hard to deal with. The kind of person everyone comes to hate.

I try to help her understand how she needs to be forgiving. How she needs to cooperate. How she needs the care they're giving her. But it's impossible to talk any sense into her. Maybe I'll have to visit more often and try to give her some counselling. I wonder if that could make a difference.

Quite a day today: Mom as well as a couple of other people in trouble today - people who needed to be listened to. But I did do a fun photoshoot. This has been a day of many colours.

(The picture is of a 100-year-old taken years ago. Not my mom.)

4 comments:

More Than Conquerors said...

Dear Marja,

Sorry to hear about your mom. It must be very trying and frustrating to her in her old age. Good of you to visit her and encourage her. Will pray that God give you wisdom and strength to counsel her.

Glad it has been a colorful day for you and you managed to do a fun photoshoot despite the various challenges. Truly you are putting into practice what you wrote in your previous post - keep looking up, not even wanting to glance down!

Take care and have a blessed weekend.

With love and prayers,
Nancie

marja said...

Thank you, Nancie, for your prayer and encouragement. You have a great weekend too, eh?
Love, marja

Wellness Writer said...

Dear Marja,
I know how difficult this is. My mother also was incontinent, and it was so distressing to her that I can't even tell you.

And, even at the best places, you lose your independence and have to do things you don't want to when you don't want to.

Alas...it made me so sad. And it was so difficult for my mother...and for me.

My thoughts are with you and your mother.

Love,
Susan

marja said...

Hi Susan,

Would you believe, I saw your comment at 5:00 this morning, then needed to get coffee and truly wake up, then totally forgot about publishing you and commenting. Anyway, here I am, and thank you for being there and understanding.

Neat thing about Mom, though, is that although she is 95 and is losing memory and many other things, she still loves to crochet. Very simple baby afghans, but I buy nice yarns and they come out looking quite good. I'm proud of her.

Hope you're having a good day.

Love, marja