Monday, April 09, 2007

The power of moods

Going through the endless ups and downs I've been experiencing lately I have come to, once more, realize what a powerful effect our moods have on our lives. I've only had several black days but many rather downish days. My current life is painting quite a clear picture of what happens to my ability to function as a result of my moods.

Over the past while I haven't felt motivated to be as active as I normally am. I've also spent much time ruminating, thinking endlessly, yet doing little. I've kept up with what I absolutely have to do though, making simple meals, cleaning the kitchen when the mess becomes unbearable. I've thankfully met my commitments.

But today I went to the gym and my workout had a wonderful effect on me. I came home energized, my more normal self. What a wonderful feeling! I wonder if that's here to stay a while? I must get busy and make the most of it.

I don't know what I'm trying to get at here, except that I can see my life as a painting with many different colors: some are dark and dreary, some boring, some passionate and exciting.

The control these moods have on me continues to amaze me. I can't will myself out of the dark or the gray. And try as I may to hang on to the light, it eventually escapes me.

So how can I use these colors and make a beautiful picture out of the whole? How can I use the combination of moods God gives me to create something good?

I just know that I need to be thankful for all I'm given, because everything - the dark AND the light make me what I am. I will be a painting with a full tonal range - a rainbow of many different colors. And there's a richness in that.


Dream Writer said...

I have read time and time again in endless bipolar books, that Exercise is our best medicine.

I have been a bit up and down lately myself, but not too bad.

Hope all is well with you!

Susan Bernard said...

Hi! I'm on vacation but I wanted to thank you for writing. Also, I lost your email address. I accidentally deleted it. Yikes! Must be a senior moment. I'll be back on Saturday.


chalexa said...

i totally agree with you and can relate so well. i wish also that my moods didn't control me. I also know that when i go to the gym i feel a thousand times better than when i was chained to my couch and felt like i'd rather lay down and die than go to the gym. Its those times you just have to go without thinking. Put on the shoes... walk to the car... and by the time you get there, you will have forgotten what it was like to be on the couch because you will be enjoying all those endorphines you get at the gym! good for you for going to the gym. Inspiring.