Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Every day is new

You may think this a rather trite thing to say, but we can't take for granted the gift each new day is for us. It's amazing how much difference a day can make in my mood. Each morning I wake up and wonder, 'What will this day bring? Will this be the day that my mood will shift?'

I begin the morning hopefully, often starting my journal entry with: "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." I write this even when I don't feel like rejoicing, hoping that writing those words will somehow help me feel joy - remembering the days when those words used to automatically come to my lips - days when I was hypomanic. I long for that enthusiasm and am sure this positive approach is helpful.

I've been trying to plan my days a little more, putting more things on my to-do list. Not too many, but enough so that I have some activities to look forward to - some chores and some fun things. That takes away some of the aimless feelings that create a sense of hopelessness. I look forward to the day.

Friends have been praying for me, knowing that I've been having a bit of a roller coaster struggle. I know it's helping. Their prayers are encouraging me to trust God as I pass through this gray time, patiently awaiting the time when my enthusiasm will return. I myself am encouraged to pray. And with prayer comes a feeling of peace of hopefulness.


Dream Writer said...

Sorry about your Rollercoaster struggles.

The to-do-list sounds great, but I don't think that I can do that. I would feel that I am now tied up to do it and have to get it done.

I am pretty disciplined that even if I write a goal list or a to-do-list - I will get it done!

But to feel tied down each day to do something with any spontaneous outlet would drive me nuts:)

marja said...

Dream writer: My to-do list is only a guide to help motivate me. I'm only tied to the must-do items - the others I'm casual about. Trouble is if I don't give myself little goals for the day I often don't get anything done and then feel lousy.

I allow plenty of margin for spontaneous activity as well.