Friday, April 06, 2007

Waiting game

What Amateur Dancer said in her comment on my last post is true. I AM having to play a bit of a waiting game right now.
I saw my counselor yesterday and she told me that a big part of my problem right now is the fact that I have lost my clear focus, my big purpose - the book. It's presently on the shelf, waiting for a publisher to show interest. I feel disconnected from it. It is no longer a breathing entity in my life. It has been sewn up. I can no longer feed it or make it grow. It is a loss, she told me, that I will have to take some time to grieve over. She instructed me not to start on anything new for now, but just to come to terms with my feelings about all this.

Yet ideas are simmering on the back of the stove. I can't help feeling creative. I appreciated Dancer's and Dream Writer's suggestions to create a book of photographs. It is something I've worked toward in the past but not something I think I'd be able to find a publisher for. But perhaps I could self-publish, using a print-on-demand publisher. I'll see.

In the meantime, I would like to play with some of my photos by putting them online here. I've been away from photography for so long and it would be good to rekindle my interest in it.

Today there are so many things I would love to share here. I'm reading a good book by Erwin McManus called Soul Cravings: wonderful stuff about love and destiny. Some very insightful thinking on big topics. Today I could sit here and write post after post. I do need to work on another book or booklet, don't I? I've got to do something with all this stuff.

I'm not good at waiting.


Amateur Dancer said...

Oh, Marja,

Thank you. I am so thankful that the rather rough lessons I have had in "waiting" have taught me one or two things about how HARD a game it is.

I do think that your counselor gave you great advice.

To start up a new project, when coming off something so large...(unless you feel certain of it)...could be impulsive, and lead you into something stressful and just frustrating.

I suspect that God would use this time of waiting to rest you in His wing until the time He unveils His next plan for You.

****NOT that this makes the waiting any easier!! I know.

remember, when i was waiting for my diagnosis...did i, or did i not, have leukemia?

it was easier to find out that yes, i had it, than to WAIT...

but, i tried...everyday, every minute to spend my time doing things that took my mind off of the waiting...things that were simple, not exhausting and as pleasurable as possible.

Rest in The Wings of His Love...He is just using the waiting time to get you good and strong for the next big, exciting, and joyful adventure He has in store for you!!


marja said...

Dear Dancer: Thank you so very much for this. You are a good friend - an understanding friend. This is true encouragement and I'm grateful.

I love you, marja

Dream Writer said...

The Waiting Game...but it can be good though, a chance and the time to think of wonderful ideas, to collect, to brainstorm.