Monday, April 23, 2007

Feeling like doing

I've been trying to focus on doing rather than focusing on my mood but I'm finding the two are so linked it's almost impossible to separate the two.

Today I have a fairly long to-do list. Actually, it's not really that long, but it feels long because I'm rather down. I know I need to whittle it down a bit if I'm going to encourage myself to feel better. And I need to build in some time for things I really enjoy. That would make me feel better too. I need to spend some time with people. That would also make me feel better.

I feel like doing something creative. I have a need for that right now. Yet my chores are getting in the way. That makes me feel a bit frustrated - trapped. When I accomplish something creative I feel better.

I emailed a couple of friends yesterday, telling them about some of my feelings - focusing on feelings. It made me feel better. They are good friends. I know they love me. I am grateful for their love. Being grateful makes me feel better.

I'm constantly aware of my feelings as I work and play. Can't escape it.

Bipolar Wellness Writer says she focuses on wellness. I think I do too. We need to have a positive outlook. But wellness is also a state of mind for a person with a mental disorder. And when you look for wellness and don't find it you feel bad.

Perhaps focusing on hope is the important thing - hope that the feelings you experience will ultimately be good for something - hope that they will help make a better person out of you - hope that you can learn from your struggles and help others somehow.

I don't know whether all this makes sense. I must sound like a nut case here.

But I AM doing. And I AM feeling better. And I AM grateful.

5 comments:

Dream Writer said...

You don't sound like a nut case..you sound normal.

I get overwhelmed sometimes with the things that I HAVE to do and I get down when I cannot get creative.

The Bipolar Room is almost done, and I bought a craft table and it looks really good.

I just have to now utilize it, but as you said the Chores and everyday life stuff gets in the way.

I think what we need to do is to Add the Creative things on our To-Do - List! Make it a priority! What do you think?

I was watching a show on HGTV and this woman promised this Guy who spoke for the show that she would put 45 minutes aside every day to do her scrapbook because she was a photographer.

So, I think WE should do that - Make Creativity a priority - put it on the list and do it!

marja said...

Dream Writer: I definitely agree. Doing creative activities needs to be one of our priorities, possibly more so than a lot of the chores we lay on ourselves. Actually, I live that way a lot of the time. My house is a mess because I'd much rather do something creative than clean. I break down and clean up when things become unbearable.

Creativity is an important aspect of life with bipolar disorder. We need to have it to help us with our healing. And if I don't have something creative to do I soon become depressed.

Sarah said...

marja I have an idea for you..... actually I had an idea and I was wondering what you think.. but I don't wanna say it here I wanna say it through e-mail or MSN do you have MSN, SKYPE or anything like that?

Sarah said...

oh and please respond on MY b log i can't go checking every blog for a reply:):)

shebee said...

You don't sound like a nut case at all! I can totally relate with what you are blogging. I know, it is so hard to seperate feelings and knowing truth. I am there right now. Hope IS the only thing that we can really hold on to. But in the mean time, doing things for yourself makes it a lot easier to cope. I spent a couple of days with a good friend last week and that was VERY therapeutic. I know what you are saying.
Oh and as a side note, good luck with your watercolour painting...what a great idea for a creative outlet!
Shebee
(I hope this made sense to you!)