Friday, December 24, 2010

Blessed Christmas time

What a blessing my strategy to fight depression by planning a cookbook project! Although I've struggled with on and off lows, I've been motivated to cook and bake - to gather all our favourite recipes from the over forty years we've been married.

Taking up a new creative project has been my coping technique for dealing with depression almost since I first started having bipolar disorder. It helps me keep my head above water. It gives me a purpose for the day - something more colourful than the chores - more colourful than the things I have to do.

This is my third day in an up mood. So good to feel this way! Today I'm baking Stollen, an involved recipe, but I've reserved most of the day for this job.

My husband gave me a wonderful early Christmas present, Brian Doerksen's new CD, Level Ground. I believe his songs have in large part been responsible for bringing me up, for encouraging me. How the words speak to me! They are perfect for people who deal with mood disorders. On his website, Brian says,

"Worship is not always about bringing God our best and brightest. Sometimes it's about bringing God our pain and grief. Sometimes it's coming just the way we are! God wants to give us more than permission to feel - he wants to step into the middle of our feelings and be present with us; even in our suffering . . . even in the middle of our emotions. So let the tears flow . . . let the laments be sung . . . and don't even think about apologizing!"

I'm feeling so well that I'm tempted to invite my Living Room group for an open house. Someone has to eat all those cookies! But a friend and my husband are warning me against it. My road has been far too rocky lately. How can I be sure I will be well enough to handle the stress?


Nevertheless, I will enjoy what I do have planned. My son and his wife and my mother are coming to have a turkey dinner with us. And we're planning on having a couple - old friends - over for New Year's Eve.

We will have a good Christmas. And I hope you will too.


Liz said...

Merry Christmas, Marja!
I hope you have a good time.

marja said...

Thank you, Liz. A merry Christmas to you too.
Love, marja

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas, Marja! The cookbook idea sounds fantastic! Will there be a way for me to get a copy?? :)

Love to you. Glad you are having some good days!


marja said...

Hey Spin! A belated Merry Christmas to you as well. Hey, maybe I could send you a copy once it's done. It would be fun to share it with as many people as I can, though I don't want to really market it either. This will be a low-cost project, but with good content.

I have been having better days, though yesterdsy was low again. Oh for stability...!