This morning I once more sat - as David so aptly described it in Psalm 139:8 - making "my bed in the depths." Feeling quite sorry for myself. Feeling quite hopeless.
A friend's email woke me up when she said, "Which verses are you going to lean on today?" and "...what are you going to do today that will help you be more positive? What is something you can do today that will give you a sense of enjoyment and fulfillment?"
My thoughts went to my other friend's comment last night about compassion. Another glimmer of hope. And I thought of the hymn that always draws an abundance of tears from me when we sing it in church:
Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
I am reminded of God's great compassion and love for me - something these lyrics always bring home so clearly for me. I am also reminded of Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 1:3-5;
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.
At this moment I feel encouraged. I don't always have to be a victim of this illness. I can turn around and use what I learn to help others.
I just pray that during the waves of negative thinking I've been experiencing the encouragement I feel at this moment will last. I pray that this will provide the food I need to keep me going.
2 comments:
Dear Marja,
Thank God for strengthening you in this difficult time! Indeed great is His faithfulness for His compassion fails not.
It is sometimes difficult to appreciate God's purposes for us in difficult time. Depression has a way of clouding all our thoughts and feelings, turning everything dark and negative. But thank God that He is the Light in our darkness, and He loves us dearly and is sovereignly working all things for His glory and our good.
Besides helping us to know once again of His unfailing love and faithfulness, it is a time that will prepare us to serve Him once again in the ministry of mercy and compassion. Yes, it is the suffering you have gone through that enables you to feel for others and have compassion for them in their struggles, and also to comfort them with God's comfort in their difficult time. Living Room is a testimony of the fruit of your suffering and you have been an instrument of blessing in God's mighty hands to many who struggles to find hope and help.
Thank God for using so many wonderful friends to convey His love to you and give you a sense of purpose even in this difficult time. May His love and faithfulness continue to uplift you through all the changing scenes in life!
Praise Him for His love, mercies and faithfulness!
With lots of love in Christ and prayers,
Nancie
Hi Nancie,
Finding God's purpose for all I go through and then writing about it as well helps tremendously. I thank God for this gift He has given me - this desire to communicate what He teaches me through my writing.
Since I wrote this post this morning I've been able to do a few things, including baking a cake for my husband's birthday. I'm slow but feel encouraged.
I do hope to write more as I work my way through these low times. Sharing through my writing has always been therapeutic and it was this morning as well.
Love, marja
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