Sunday, December 05, 2010

When a glimmer comes

As I'm riding on waves of depression, I'm reminded of how important it is to take advantage of the occasional glimmer of light that comes along - those times when I become interested in doing something that might offer a way out.

I felt good about myself a couple of days ago when I managed to bake my husband's favourite cake for his birthday. Then I came across an old recipe for a favourite meal I used to make years ago. I cooked it up for his birthday dinner and had my son and his wife come and share it with us. I felt good about myself. Quite a switch from the way I had been feeling.

Stumbling on that old recipe reminded me of a project I started years ago, putting together a collection of our favourite recipes. And, I thought, maybe changing gears will get me out of this funk. Maybe I should pick up that old project again and publish a little cookbook. My 65th birthday is coming up next year. What better way to celebrate than to gather together all my favourite recipes from a lifetime of cooking?

I remember many years ago how I often picked up a fresh new project whenever I felt depression coming on. Quite often that was exactly what I needed to get me interested in life again. And two Christmases ago, during a particularly bad time I put together a calendar using my flower photography. That helped make my mood a little less black. Yes, I believe creative projects can do much to help a person through those bad times.

So tonight, after spending half the evening in bed, feeling quite miserable, I got up and started looking through old recipes. I picked out some that needed to go into the book for sure. And I picked out others that I'll have to test again to make sure I want to include them.

What is particularly good about this project is that it will help me get interested in cooking again. And I know for sure that will make my husband very happy.

Yes, when that glimmer of interest in something comes, we need to take advantage of it. Grab hold of it and do it. Just do.


Jane said...

Your cooking idea sounds wonderful! I am just starting to discover the joy that is actually possible from cooking. If you have found joy in it before, I know you'll love it again. It's so creative and energy producing. And also it just gives such a sense of accomplishment after! I hope you feel better soon, Marja. Know you're in my heart. Love, 'Jane' xoxo

marja said...

Thanks for the encouragement, Jane. You know, the thing about cooking as a hobby is that it also fills a necessity. We need to eat. And it makes my husband happy - another important reason for doing it.

Btw, What are you doing up so late?

Love, marja

Jane said...

Oh Marja... well I've been living out of town and away from who was my regular pdoc for a year. In that year I have been getting better and better for the most part. My functioning so so much better! You'd be so proud of me. But my meds are still screwed up and my energy levels do still control me at times, and sleeping problems are my biggest issue at the moment. It feels like I can never go to sleep at a normal time. I actually slept in until 12:30 today which hasn't happened in years. I am thankful that my body recognized that I needed the rest. I JUST got a new pdoc who is going to be amazing and we're going to be getting my pills in working order and hopefully then I'll be getting better sleeps. :)
Love ya :)

marja said...

Jane: So good that your functioning is better. I AM proud of you. Glad too that you've found a good pdoc where you now live. That's so very important.

Love you too. We have a bit of a history, don't we?

Jane said...

Yeah. I miss you. I really wish we could just grab coffee and or breakfast or something sometime and catch up on life... its comforting to know that I know I can find you here at least. :)